In my life, things tend to go from one thing to another along a pathway that somehow leads to either hilarity, or disaster, or both. I can see now that this is another one of those times. ...
It all started with a few days of serving the Lord by serving my precious church kids. This past week, my wife and kids and I loaded up several of our younger kids and headed off to junior camp. That was the engine of the Disaster Train.
While there, the pastor of the church in charge of the camp, a dear friend of mine, sent my wife and I off to lunch at Chili's one day, giving us a few almost unheard of hours to ourselves. That was Boxcar No. 1 hooked to the engine of the Disaster Train.
The lunch was delicious. The best part was a new feature they have, the tableside guacamole. They come to your table with freshly peeled avocado and other ingredients and make the guacamole right there in front of you. Dana and I love guacamole and, seeing how easy it was to make, we determined to do so ourselves at home. That was Boxcar No. 2 hooked to Boxcar No. 1 one hooked to the engine of the Disaster Train.
The next day at camp, a counselor handed me a bag of fresh produce out of his garden. Included in that produce was a bag of fresh peppers, including a bunch of fresh habañeros. That was Boxcar No. 3 hooked to Boxcar No. 2 hooked to Boxcar No. 1 hooked to the engine of the Disaster Train.
A few hours ago, here at home, camp safely behind us, Dana fixed some fresh guacamole for us. It looked and tasted amazing. But then my eyes fell upon the bag of peppers, and I began to wonder how much better it could be made with a fresh habañero chopped up in it. That, friends, was the fire-engine-red caboose that was hooked to Boxcar No. 3 hooked to Boxcar No. 2 hooked to Boxcar No. 1 hooked to the engine of the Disaster Train.
My left nasal passage is currently on fire. I do not know why the right one was spared the agony, but the left one is hurting. My wife is entirely unsympathetic. Her entire response was to laugh and me and say, "If it is burning your nasal passage, you are eating it all the wrong way."
My tongue is no longer swollen, that is good, but I am seriously considering soaking my nose in milk till breathing is no longer painful.
I classify this entire episode as bad idea No. 1,746.
Proverbs 14:12 says "There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death." We often are quite confident that we know what we are doing, but that does not mean that we are correct. In fact, the things people are so sure of are sometimes the very things that will destroy them.
Social drinking seems like such a good way to unwind, but no one ever became a drunk without putting that first alcoholic beverage to their lips. A tattoo seems like an expression of individuality, but it is not till a person has trouble landing a job that they begin to wonder if that skull and crossbones on their neck may not be helping their cause.
Smoking a little pot seems like an innocent pastime, but people do not realize that many heroin addicts started on weed. Adultery seems like a quick fix for an unfulfilling marriage, but a lifetime of courtroom battles, kids being bounced back and forth like ping pong balls and the awkwardness of family holidays that would embarrass a daytime talk show host will at some point make you rethink the decision that is now unable to be undone.
The only safe passage way through this life is to walk in the wisdom of the word of God. Remember that.
I have to go now, I feel the urgent need to stick my nose into a bowl of ice cream.
Bo Wagner is pastor of the Cornerstone Baptist Church of Mooresboro, N.C., and the author of several books which are available at wordofhis mouth.com. Contact him at firstname.lastname@example.org.