LISA DENTON: Barry, you remember a couple of weeks ago how everything in the events calendar reminded me of music? This week, everything's making me hungry.
Celebrity cook Ree Drummond, aka "The Pioneer Woman," will be at She: An Expo for Women on Saturday. The Peach Truck will be selling farm-fresh Georgia peaches in Cleveland, East Ridge and Ooltewah today. The Foothills Country Fair in Cleveland this weekend includes a Kansas City Barbeque Society competition. The Chattanooga Zoo is having its Q n' Brew fundraiser Saturday. And the Chattanooga Lookouts are playing the Montgomery Biscuits (of all teams) this week at AT&T Field.
I have to admit I'm especially excited about the She expo since I get to judge the pie contest on Saturday.
BARRY COURTER: I have some experience at this food-judging thing. Last year, I sampled 74 cupcakes at She, and I'm not going to lie, that was a lot of sugar.
On Sunday, I'll be judging a Bloody Mary tasting contest at the Chattanooga Market. It's a clever benefit for the Blood Assurance Foundation. Local bars and restaurants will be serving up their best, and market visitors can pay $20 to sample five of the elixirs.
I hear there are around 20 contestants, and while it is customary to just SAMPLE - and I do highly recommend that you just sample when it comes the pies - I might not heed my own advice. There could be a cab ride home in my near future. This judging thing is hard.
LISA: You really sampled 74 entries last year?
BARRY: Yes, we did. Had to take a walk around the Convention Center about midway through.
LISA: Hmmm, there could be an ambulance ride to the diabetes clinic in my near future. I actually don't know how many pie bakers are signed up yet (they have until Thursday to register), but each contestant can enter up to three pies, so that could be a bunch.
Remember how much FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper loved the pie on "Twin Peaks"? That'll be my inspiration. I even thought of a poem: "I think that I shall never spy/Dessert as tasty as a pie." (Sincere apologies to Joyce Kilmer.)
The Bloody Mary tasting sounds like fun. It's an unexpected but logical addition to a Tomato Festival.
BARRY: Agent Cooper did love his pie. And his coffee. Pie and the Pioneer Woman are not the only things scheduled for the expo, of course. Patrons will find health screenings, beauty products and services, cooking demonstrations, food and fashions. And twins Drew and Jonathan Scott from "The Property Brothers" will be there on Sunday.
I like their show a good bit, and they were fun to interview. They started their first business selling decorative hangers at age 7 and flipped their first house while in college. They'll be offering renovation tips and tricks.
LISA: I could use some renovation ideas. Mostly on how to finish a project. I have about 2,000 started. At least if I go to the expo both days, I can use the same ticket. That's some good bang for the buck.
We should also mention that our buddy David Jenkins, who has returned to the Times Free Press fold, will lead a program on the history of Chattanooga baseball Tuesday evening before the Lookouts game. David, as you know, can speak with authority on the topic. You could even say he wrote the book on it. It's called "Baseball in Chattanooga."
This is part of The Chattery's Party With the Past history series. If you go to the lecture, you get a chance to throw out the first pitch before the game. How cool would that be?
BARRY: David does know his Lookouts lore. Wonder if there will be food.
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Contact Lisa Denton at email@example.com or 423-757-6281. Contact Barry Courter at firstname.lastname@example.org or 423-757-6354.