Julie BaumgardnerIf you currently have a teenager, you probably have some idea about the prom. Things have definitely changed over the last few years. It used to be that a guy would casually ask a girl if she would like to go to prom. More than likely the girl said yes, and the search began for the perfect dress.
The day of prom, friends would gather at somebody's house to get ready. Dates arrived, pictures were taken in the front yard, and off everybody went.
Now there are "promposals." The guy comes up with an elaborate, creative way to ask a girl to the prom -- usually in front of a bunch of people. Chances are good that she says yes. The hunt for the dress ensues, making sure that, once she makes her purchase, her name and dress are on "the list" so nobody else shows up to prom in the same dress. Once the dress is chosen, the guy must rent a tux to match the dress.
Hairstylist, makeup artist and nail salon appointments are made for the day of pampering before the big event. Some even enlist a photographer to take pictures of the beautiful couple in a scenic location as they head out to dinner. The latest calculations indicate that, on average, girls will spend a minimum of $500 on the evening and guys will spend around $300 -- which doesn't include the cost of a limo.
Honestly, if one did not know what was happening, they might think this couple just got engaged versus actually preparing for their last big hurrah of high school.
How much is too much? Ninety-five percent of high school sweethearts do not marry each other, and many of the teens go with someone they aren't really even dating. So have people-- teens and adults alike -- taken this rite of passage over the top? About half will say absolutely not -- preparing for the event and the night should be special, set apart and memorable; others, though, will believe things are a bit out of control when it comes to a high school event.
Keeping in mind that prom has become a very lucrative, revenue-generating event for many businesses, here are some things to think about when it comes to prom.
* If your teen's goal is to make the night really fun and memorable, how can you develop a plan together without breaking the bank, in addition to helping them stay safe?
* There is so much hype around prom preparation that, by the time the teens get to the prom, it's almost a letdown. Instead of dancing, they all stand around awkwardly while intermittently texting on their phones.
* Remind your teen that prom night, while a rite of passage, is only one among many over their lifetime.
Prom is a great opportunity to celebrate the completion of high school. If the pressure is so great to make everything about that celebration extravagant, what do these teens have to look forward to with future celebrations and accomplishments, e.g., graduation, engagement or wedding?
Julie Baumgardner is president and CEO of First Things First. Contact her at julieb@firstthings.org.