You've heard "patience is a virtue."
Well, patience is not just back-bench virtue, it's on the Mount Rushmore of virtues, right up there with kindness, humility and diligence.
Albert Mehrabian, a psychology professor at UCLA, has come up with a good definition of patience. He calls it: "The tendency to be deliberate, steadfast, restrained and (the ability) to endure difficulties." Mehrabian has studied human behavior and comes to the conclusion that patience -- exhibited in a relaxed temperament -- is highly correlated with success in life.
And, in family matters, patience is golden.
I've been on the lookout for ways that patience serves us well; and how the opposite impulse -- impatience -- can mess things up.
Nine days ago, my 13-year-old son and I were trying to drive up Signal Mountain in a snowstorm. About halfway up, things turned perilous. Cars were sliding backwards and running into ditches. Panic set in.
Rather than wait in the right lane while motorists ahead tried, one-by-one, to make the ascent, a few drivers decided to zip around and take their chances going up the down lane. It worked for about 100 yards, but at the next bend in the road the anxious motorists came face-to-face with a parked snow plow. They lost traction and, with it, virtually any hope they had of making it to the top.
Meanwhile, most of the cars in the slow-but-steady lane eventually made it, falling in behind another snow plow clearing the load ahead.
Lesson: Heed the tortoise.
Two days later, I was at a Lee Highway rental-car store -- without a reservation -- and was told that a car would not be available to me for about five hours. "Would you like to wait?" the clerk asked.
My shoulders dropped. But then I took deep breath and told myself: "patience."
Oh, wait, the clerk then said, a downtown branch did have one car left. I jumped on it. At the same instant, I felt someone walk up behind me, "Mr. Kennedy, if you don't mind riding with me, I can take you downtown. I am a very safe driver."
After thanking the woman and engaging in some brief small talk, I took a seat with my new friend in her Chevrolet Malibu rental car. I had assumed she was headed downtown, too, but no. The driver, a Chattanooga grandmother, said it is part of her daily prayer life to ask God for opportunities to help others. And, well, God had sent me.
We fell into a conversation about family, religion, careers. She said a quick prayer as we passed the National Cemetery and later she wished me a good day when we reached our destination.
Lesson: For anyone seeking to let their "light shine," this is how it's done.
Last Sunday, our family went to see "McFarland U.S.A.," a Disney movie about the children of Mexican-American farm workers in McFarland, Calif., one of the state's poorest towns. Some of the boys form a cross-country running team to compete against elite, suburban teams.
The movie is a classic underdog tale about boys who apply their inheritance -- a tireless work ethic -- to a sport that rewards work and endurance. The McFarland High School cross-country coach, Jim White, played by actor Kevin Costner, teaches patience as the runners develop the techniques they need to win.
The movie plays out against a backdrop of Hispanic culture in the San Joaquin Valley, which is built on three pillars -- hard work, family and religion. The workers, who toil dusk to dawn in the fields, still find time to eat family meals, worship and celebrate life events with their families.
Americans who are nostalgic for early 20th century family values, need look no further than many in the Mexican-American community, who reject the theory that work gets in the way of faith and family.
Lesson: Eat, pray, love.
Contact Mark Kennedy at mkennedy@timesfreepress.com or 423-757-6645. Follow him on Twitter @TFPCOLUMNIST. Subscribe to his Facebook updates at www.facebook.com/mkennedycolumnist.