Jeanne PhillipsDEAR ABBY: My best friend and I met when we were 18 and have been inseparable every since. I was best man in his wedding. When his first child was born, I traveled six hours to be at the hospital when "Sara" was born. I have never missed a birthday or Christmas. When my friend announced they were moving from Ohio to Arizona, I moved as well. I have no family of my own, and I adore his two girls. Sara turned 13 this year, and like most teens, is distancing herself from her family and even more so from me. When her mom and dad invite me for dinner or a family get-together, she barely acknowledges me. It breaks my heart. I love her and consider her family. Should I continue to go to her sporting events at school? (I have never missed a game.) Do I continue to shower her with birthday and Christmas gifts? I hope it is a phase she's going through. On the other hand, I think she's acting like a spoiled brat, and if she doesn't know how to treat people, then I want nothing to do with her. How should I handle this? - UN-UNCLE IN ARIZONA
DEAR UN-UNCLE: I am sure Sara's parents are feeling the same way. I agree she is probably "just being a teenager." Give her some space and hope that when she finally pulls out of it she will recognize how lucky she is to have such a loving un-uncle. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.
DEAR ABBY: My sister and I are senior citizens with health problems, so we share an apartment to minimize expenses and to be sure someone is around if needed. My brother and his wife sometimes socialize with us.
The problem is, my brother has a friend. The friend and his wife constantly use foul language. I don't like hearing the F-bomb used as an everyday part of speech. I have tried modeling correct behavior and not cursing, but it hasn't worked. How can I ask them to stop without alienating them and losing my brother and his friend? - APPALLED IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR APPALLED: In recent decades there has been a coarsening of the language many individuals use on a daily basis, and it's regrettable. However, that doesn't mean you must listen to it and remain silent.
The next time it happens, tell your brother and his friends that when they use the F-bomb, it makes you and your sister uncomfortable and ask them to please refrain from dropping it when they are with you. That's not an unreasonable request, and it shouldn't alienate anyone.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.