BARRY COURTER: Lisa, there are some very interesting musical options on the calendar this week. It's a veritable smorgasbord of choices, which is especially cool because I like using phrases like "veritable smorgasbord." It's a total David Letterman ripoff, but it makes me smile.
LISA DENTON: Suddenly, I want some Underwood deviled ham, but anybody not alive in the '70s won't know why — or that "It's like having a borgasmord" was the "Where's the beef?" of its time. Hmmm, that's a catchphrase from the 1980s. You'd think I hadn't watched TV since my youth.
BARRY: We are digging (or shoveling) deep here. Speaking of youth, one of the coolest music events this week has to be the Chattanooga Girls Rock Camp concert Saturday at noon at Revelry Room. Fifty girls will spend this week learning to sing, play and write music, and they will form 10 bands to perform the song they write during the camp at the show. It's more about empowering them than creating the next big star.
I would highly advise buying your tickets early.
LISA: I never learned guitar, but, as you know, I play a mean kazoo.
BARRY: It's scary what you can do with a kazoo. Anyway, it's really pretty crazy the number and variety of music this week. Revelry Room alone has the Allman Joys: Tribute to the Allman Brothers on Thursday.
LISA: Oh, man, I love that name. And now I want a candy bar.
BARRY: Brothers fans will know it as their early band name, of course. Then more Southern rock from Steel Woods on Friday, then Mike Farris on Saturday and then Jimmy Herring and the Invisible Whip on Sunday.
Alanna Royale is at Riverfront Nights Saturday night at the 21st Century Waterfront. I first saw them at Bonnaroo several years ago. Come ready to dance. And there is a Luther Vandross tribute by Young, Gifted and Black at Granfalloon. Great name, and who doesn't love Luther?
LISA: "Always and Forever," for sure. Fun fact: His middle name was Ronzoni. Funner fact: He was a Jr., which means at least two people in the world have been named Ronzoni.
Don't forget that the Chattanooga Lookouts are at home one more night against the Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp. I have discovered that one of the Jumbo Shrimp ballpark promotions last month was You Might Be the Father's Day. They discounted the beer on their regular Thirsty Thursday and also gave out pregnancy tests "so you'll know if you need to return for Sunday's Father's Day game," the team's website explained, according to The Florida Times-Union at jacksonville.com.
I'm not sure why they changed their name from the Suns to Jumbo Shrimp, but I bet it helps concession sales.
Not that they asked, but I'm running through ideas if the Lookouts decide to go with a food name. Chattanooga Cornbread? Chattanooga Sweet Tea? Chattanooga MoonPies?
I'm gonna be needing some lunch.
BARRY: MoonPies is a great name for a team. And, yeah, I was thinking I needed to call my wife after listening to all this Ronzoni music, but now I'm hungry.
Get event information every Thursday in ChattanoogaNow or online anytime at www.ChattanoogaNow.com.
Contact Barry Courter at firstname.lastname@example.org or 423-757-6354. Contact Lisa Denton at email@example.com or 423-757-6281.