Mark KennedyDorothy Peoples will be 76 years old in September.
In deference to her age and wisdom, the young people at the Empowerment Church in East Ridge line up to greet her before services every Sunday. Teens, young adults and children alike make it a weekly ritual to hug the jovial lady they call "Mother" Peoples.
Sometimes she'll cup their faces in her hands and say, "And what am I going to tell you to do?"
They they'll each answer dutifully: "Make good decisions!"
After 56 years of marriage, rearing two children and serving for years as associate director of Senior Neighbors in downtown Chattanooga, Dorothy Peoples' three-word motto -- "make good decisions" -- has a proven track record.
A couple of years ago, Dr. David Banks, pastor of the Empowerment Church, handed Peoples a blank journal and encouraged her to fill it with 54 keys to her successful marriage, one for every year of matrimony. Peoples, who is married to Chattanooga musician and civic leader Erskine Peoples, took the challenge.
"He knew my heart," Peoples says of the pastor. "It started as an assignment and ended as a passion."
From that simple assignment, Peoples decided to write a book, "Married Leaps and Planned Landings," which is now available through Amazon (4-P Publishing). The book is arranged into neat sections on finding the right mate, learning to apply Christian principles in midlife and beyond, and coming to terms with senior citizenhood.
Peoples, who others say has the gift of encouragement, urges young women to look past "muscles and nice cars" and search for a man who will be a good provider and who enters marriage with a commitment for the long run.
"You've got to look beyond the charm," she says. "You've got to look for someone who respects you."
Prospective mates should also be on the same page about living frugally and saving money when they are young so they can avoid the financial stress that often ends up fueling divorces, Peoples says.
Dorothy was a 21-year-old student at Tennessee State University in Nashville when she began dating Erskine, who was already established as a public-school music teacher when they married. Perhaps because her family was poor, Peoples said she was always content with what she had, and she never tried to spend beyond her means -- an attitude that's key to a durable marriage, she says.
Also, some young couples fail to have a conversation about children, which can come back to haunt them, Peoples says.
She explains, "If you are infatuated with someone who you want to marry -- and you really want five children, but your mate values career over kids -- then you've stepped into something that is not going to make you happy."
In midlife, a key to raising children is realizing that all kids are different and that they all make mistakes, she says.
"One child will respond to words and chastisement, and the other might not respond to the same thing," she said. "The goal is for parents to be on the same page."
Building a strong marriage requires both husband and wife to be deeply committed to working through problems, and to realize change is inevitable, she says.
"Marriage is about adjusting to adjustments," she says -- husband and wife, humbly searching for compromise and trusting their faith to provide answers.
It all circles back to her motto: Make good decisions.
Contact Mark Kennedy at mkennedy@timesfree press.com or 423-757-6645. Follow him on Twitter @TFPCOLUMNIST. Subscribe to his Facebook updates at www.facebook.com/mkennedycolumnist.