HOOVER, Ala. - What was becoming a rather mundane week at SEC media days desperately needed a spark.
Fortunately it was Bret Bielema's turn at the podium Wednesday.
The fourth-year coach of the Arkansas Razorbacks brought the sexy - he used the word a week-leading three times - to The Wynfrey Hotel's main ballroom and provided the most entertainment so far at an event overloaded with irrelevant questions, bland answers and canned quotes.
"At Arkansas, we're not built very sexy," said Bielema, who is 18-20 in three seasons leading the program. "We're just kind of a work in progress. We need a lot of time in the bathroom to get ready and come out and look great.
"But when we do, we'll stop time, and at some point we'll get to where we want to be."
With the retired Steve Spurrier vacating the role as the Southeastern Conference's most quotable coach, it's up to Bielema to fill the void, and he began playing the part beautifully before answering a single question.
Kentucky's contingent shared an upstairs waiting room for the second straight year on Wednesday, so Wildcats coach Mark Stoops again crossed paths with Bielema.
"I didn't mention this last year, but I've got to bust him this year," Stoops joked. "Big Bret, he's got dogs this (small) in there yapping at your ankles You have to bust his chops about his tiny dogs."
Bielema was in Europe with his wife, Jen, last week when Michigan cancelled a future home-and-home series with Arkansas to resurrect its traditional rivalry with Notre Dame.
"We were on a train headed to Paris - it's ironic for me to say that in every word - and my wife said, 'Hey, there's something on the internet about a Big Ten team canceling with an SEC team,'" Bielema recalled. "I said, 'I don't know anything about it. She said, 'Really? Your picture's right here.'
"The Michigan-Notre Dame thing sounds sexy to everybody else, but I think Michigan and Arkansas sounds sexy."
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His recount of the postgame handshake with Texas A&M coach Kevin Sumlin after the Aggies won in overtime last season drew laughs.
"I don't know what to say," Sumlin told his counterpart.
"Don't say anything, I might punch you," Bielema quipped in response.
As for his role in Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson's wedding, Bielema, who coached the Super Bowl winner at Wisconsin, joked he was merely "the guy in the eighth row in the outside seat."
The first mentions of satellite camps, previously college football's most overblown offseason storyline, and Michigan coach/SEC nemesis Jim Harbaugh came during Bielema's segment.
"I've got tremendous respect for Jim," Bielema said. "I know there's a lot of people who like to throw darts at Michigan (with) all that's going on right now. I love a guy that speaks his mind, as you can tell from knowing me."
Bielema later said the Razorbacks "have three commitments that I don't believe would have happened if we didn't have satellite camps."
Arkansas linebacker Brooks Ellis said the version of Bielema on display in public is the same one players see daily.
"He's the same anywhere he goes," Ellis said. "He's the same person, always making jokes, always having a good time."
More important for the players is that they have embraced the kind of approach Bielema wants.
"Pounding the ball and the play-action game is just not what a lot of people like to watch as opposed to the spread offenses where you get a lot of guys out in space," tight end Jeremy Sprinkle said. "It's just the style of football that we play."
Bielema's tenure at Arkansas got off to a rough start with a winless SEC record in 2013, but the Razorbacks won seven games in 2014 and eight games in 2015 while increasing their league wins total by three in the brutal SEC West.
They arguably were the most exciting team in the conference last season.
Two weeks after beating Auburn in quadruple overtime, Arkansas won at Ole Miss following a multi-lateral fourth-down conversion and game-winning two-point play, and two losses were in overtime to Texas A&M and on a late blocked field goal at Mississippi State.
"We're getting really close," Bielema said, "to where we want to be."
Contact Patrick Brown at pbrown@timesfreepress.com.