Using the pickiest of standards, Vanderbilt basketball coach Kevin Stallings was 100 percent wrong to drop the F-bomb on Commodores freshman Wade Baldwin IV at the close of Vandy's 73-65 victory over Tennessee on Thursday evening.
Profanity is never a good option, especially when lip readers can easily make out every syllable of your foul language, and particularly when it's part of the more troublesome overall statement, "I'm going to (bleeping) kill you."
But the reasons behind Stallings' anger at the close of the Commodores' biggest and best triumph of a trying Southeastern Conference season were also 100 percent justified.
With a national cable television audience looking on, Baldwin managed to turn what should have been a teamwide feel-good moment into a self-centered, unsportsmanlike sidebar by needlessly clapping his hands in the face of UT's Armani Moore.
Told of this classless, clueless stunt by a Tennessee staffer no more than a second or two after it occurred, Stallings understandably snapped, soon screaming the above profanity at Baldwin.
Naturally, because he's both a stand-up guy and every word out of all of our mouths these days has to be politically correct or the security of our jobs is threatened, the VU coach soon apologized.
He said he did not "mean his words literally." He told ESPN, which televised the game on ESPN2, "I handled it completely inappropriately and I apologized to Wade -- and I need to apologize to our fans and the Vanderbilt administration."
Yet thankfully, because Stallings also stands for all we used to believe sports was about, he also added, "Having said that, and it may seem as though I'm trying to rationalize my behavior, sportsmanship will continue to be a high priority."
Thank goodness.
Because this is one time when the reason behind the message was far more important than the words used to convey the message. We are a nation starving for civility, for sportsmanship, for good manners and mutual respect across all avenues of society.
Stallings may have used an unfortunate set of words to articulate his anger concerning Baldwin's behavior, but if more coaches, teachers and parents -- particularly parents -- similarly hammered home their demands for acceptable behavior, Stallings might not have had a reason to rage.
A lot of us of a certain age -- I'd say 45 and older -- used to play sports for lots of coaches such as Stallings -- highly principled men with lofty expectations and low tolerances for poor sportsmanship from the young people they coached. So maybe they berated you with a few words that if you repeated them your mom would wash your mouth out with soap, be it Lux, Lifeboy or, to quote "Christmas Story:" "Palmolive, (which) had a nice... piquant, after-dinner flavor."
Or maybe they tugged at your facemask on a football field. Or maybe they made you run laps if you got out of line.
But they also made you better, more responsible, more respectful people or they sent you on your way. Playing organized sports was a privilege, not a right. Understand?
At some point over the last 25 years or so that message has all but disappeared from too many coaches and programs. We've allowed trash talk and unseemly gestures to become as much a part of the games we play as sweatbands and halftimes. Parents balk at dress codes because it thwarts little Johnny's or Joanie's self-expression. And heaven forbid you yell at them because they made a mistake. They're kids, for gosh sakes. Their psyches are sacred.
Well, they better learn to be yelled at before they get a real job or they'll live at home the rest of their lives because they're too thin-skinned and fragile to make it on their own.
Perhaps that's why Stallings also said of Baldwin's behavior: "He's got some things to learn, some growing up to do if he's going to play in this program."
And to his credit, Baldwin seemed to grow up almost instantly in Tweetsville, making the following statement for all of social media to see: "Coach Stallings is the best coach in America. I felt no offense to anything. We are both fiery people and that's why I chose Vandy."
Of course, in keeping with these PC times, Vanderbilt athletic director David Williams issued a statement Friday that read, in part: "Coach Stallings and I agree that as head coach, he must exemplify the high code of conduct he expects from his team members. ...Vanderbilt considers this a personnel issue and as such it will be handled internally."
A couple of years ago, Stallings attempted to internally handle the discipline of former Commodores guard Kedren Johnson, one of the more talented athletes he'd signed in his 16 years at the school. Never able to get with the program, Johnson transferred to Memphis this season, where he was immediately eligible to play.
While the Commodores were defeating Tennessee on Thursday night, Memphis was losing at home to No. 21 SMU, at least partly because Johnson drew a selfish technical for complaining about his fourth foul less than two minutes into the second half. The technical automatically became his fifth foul, which got him tossed from the game and did much to do in the Tigers.
Memphis coach Josh Pastner is well-known for not cursing and wasn't seen telling Johnson "I'm going to kill you," but he may have thought something similar. And if he didn't, perhaps he should in some setting where he can't get in trouble for it. It might help Johnson learn some things and grow up enough to play winning ball in the game of life.
Contact Mark Wiedmer at mwiedmer@timesfreepress.com.