Atop the shiny hardwood court, between the perfectly painted white lines where wins and losses are recorded for history's sake, Auburn coach Bruce Pearl is currently 0-2 against arch-enemy Alabama after one season of residing in the Loveliest Village on the Plains.
That wasn't enough to keep the Crimson Tide from firing the man who won those two games, Anthony Grant, but Bruce Almighty was still nothing more than Bruce Almost against Bama, losing twice to the Tide by a combined 13 points.
Auburn head coach Bruce Pearl celebrates after his game in Nashville against Texas A&M in this March 12, 2015, file photo.But if Gary Parrish of CBSSportsline.com is right that Alabama is prepared to offer current Wichita State basketball coach Gregg Marshall more than $3 million a season -- Grant reportedly was making $1.9 million a year -- Pearl has nevertheless quite successfully succeeded in quickly getting under his rival's skin, which most residents of the Heart of Dixie would tell you is the chief goal of every fan of both programs.
And to think Pearl is scheduled to make only $2.3 next year coaching the Tigers. Maybe he should take the Alabama gig, order the Tide to pay his multimillion-dollar buyout and become Bama Bruce. He just needs to be careful whom he invites to the backyard barbecues he's sure to have catered by Dreamland.
Yet what's really important here is that despite having only undefeated, top-ranked Kentucky still alive in the NCAA tournament, the Southeastern Conference already has seen two of its schools make dramatic statements over the past 10 days regarding their determination to raise their basketball profiles.
Having reached March Madness just once in his six seasons in Tuscaloosa, Grant was shone the door on Selection Sunday. Whether Alabama ultimately convinces Marshall to leave Wichita State after the Shockers' run is done in the tournament -- they'll play Notre Dame on Thursday evening in Cleveland, Ohio, for a spot in Saturday's Midwest Regional final opposite the Kentucky-West Virginia winner -- if UA is serious about coughing up $3 million per year, the school can find someone capable of returning the school to its Wimp Sanderson-led glory days.
In case you've forgotten those times, Bama went to the NCAA tournament 12 out of 14 years from 1982to 1995, Coleman Coliseum morphing into the "Plaid Palace," Tide home games becoming the toughest ticket in the league outside of Kentucky and Arkansas.
Alabama head coach Anthony Grant speaks to players during the first half of an NCAA college basketball game in the second round of the Southeastern Conference tournament against Florida on Thursday, March 12, 2015, in Nashville.But no matter to whom Bama turns, that choice almost certainly won't have a better resume than new Mississippi State coach Ben Howland, who took UCLA to three straight Final Fours from 2006 to 2008, though the Bruins never won the title.
Yes, Howland will be 58 in May, has no prior ties to the South and was dismissed by UCLA with surprisingly little division among the Bruins faithful given his overall record of success in Westwood.
However, he did build Pittsburgh into a national power in the brutal Big East before accepting the unforgiving UCLA gig in the spring of 2003, and before Pitt he took Northern Arizona to the NCAA tournament.
And with a reputation for developing such outstanding NBA guards as Russell Westbrook and Darren Collison, as well as recruiting such fine post players as Kevin Love, Howland seems certain to have the Bulldogs challenging for an NCAA bid sooner than later.
In fact, let Bama land Marshall and the league suddenly would have four coaches with Final Four experience: UK's John Calipari, Florida's Billy Donovan, Howland and Marshall. The last time there have been four Final Four coaches in the league at the same time was at the dawn of the 2000s, when Tubby Smith (UK), Jim Harrick (Georgia), Donovan and Arkansas' Nolan Richardson were all under the SEC banner.
Will Marshall seriously consider joining Howland down South, however? Would a guy who's always been a big fish in a small pond be content to never be anything more than the fourth most well-known coach at the Capstone, behind the head football coach and both his coordinators?
He's paid well at Wichita -- more than $1.8 million this season after bonuses -- and there's no football team, so he's the king of his universe, and there are a handful of traditional powerhouse jobs that could come open over the next two or three years, including Indiana, North Carolina, Louisville and possibly Kentucky.
There's also his current Shockers roster. If point guard Fred VanVleet and shooting guard Ron Baker both return for their senior seasons next year, Marshall could be looking at his second Final Four in four seasons if he doesn't make it two out of three this year.
And if he can pull that off at Wichita State, every school but Duke and Kentucky -- assuming Mike Krzyzewski and John Calipari both stay put -- might run off their coaches to hire him.
Yet something Marshall said when asked about the Bama job earlier this week should also encourage the Crimson Nation to be patient.
"I'm coaching my team," he said, "and that's what I'm going to do, hopefully, for another couple of weeks. And if Alabama is still interested in talking to us with some type of crazy offer at that time, then we will certainly entertain that, but it's going to take some type of crazy offer to get us to leave Wichita State."
That said, if I were Marshall, and I was seriously considering Alabama, I'd sit this one out. After all, if the Tide are willing to pay $3 million to hire a coach to replace a coach who beat Bruce Pearl twice in two games, think what they'll pay the coach who replaces the coach who loses a few to Pearl.
Now that could become really crazy money.
Contact Mark Wiedmer at mwiedmer@timesfreepress.com.