Karen Nazor HillMy world came close to collapsing recently when I had the scare of my life.
Kacee, the mother of my two granddaughters -- who is also raising my grandson -- became very ill during the early morning hours of Aug. 27 and had to be taken to the emergency room at Erlanger hospital. A couple of hours later, doctors suspected she had suffered a heart attack but, thankfully, the diagnosis changed the next day when test results showed her heart was OK.
They next suspected meningitis ... followed by Lyme disease, Crohn's disease, rheumatoid arthritis and more. Meanwhile, for four days, she was very ill with fever, low blood pressure, fast heartbeat, rash and severe neck and shoulder pain.
She was in terrific pain. We were terrified.
Meanwhile, as the "new" matriarch of our family (my mother died on July 9), it was my job to take care of my grandchildren -- Tilleigh, 7; Evie, 4, and William, 23 months -- during this crisis. My responsibility began at 2 a.m. when my husband, Hank, took Kacee to the hospital. Because she and the children live next door, I was in Kacee's house within minutes of her telling us she was ill.
For the next five hours, until it was time to wake the children and get them ready for school and day care, I sat on the living room couch, in the dark, anxiously waiting for news about Kacee's condition. When I finally got the phone call telling me doctors suspected a heart attack, I wept. Heart disease runs in my family. My only sibling, a brother, died from a massive heart attack when he was 54. Both my late parents had heart disease.
Around 4 a.m., I heard Evie in the back of the house calling for her mommy.
I jumped up to get her, pulled her up into my arms, and she went back to sleep mumbling, "Mom, why are you here?" (My grandchildren call me Mom.) Before I could answer, she was asleep. Instead of putting her back to bed, I carried her into the living room and snuggled with her on the couch as she slept. I was in desperate need of snuggling.
When I woke the children at 7 a.m. to get ready for school, I knew Tilleigh would want answers as to the whereabouts of her Mommy. I had planned a course of action that I immediately put into play. Because the children were aware that Kacee had been having neck and shoulder pain the evening before, I told her the pain worsened so "Boo" (the grandchildren's name for Hank) took Mommy to the hospital.
It was very hard maintaining an upbeat attitude in front of the children while thinking my daughter had suffered a heart attack.
Thankfully, one of Kacee's close friends, Berry Shults, offered to take Tilleigh and William to school on Signal Mountain. I took Evie to hers on Hixson Pike before heading to Erlanger.
My goal was to keep the children's world as normal as possible. I stayed with Kacee all day at the hospital, but by the time the children got home around 5 p.m., I was waiting on them. It had been many years since I had the full responsibility of feeding three children (I raised four), making sure homework was completed, giving baths, putting them to bed, getting them up, cooking breakfast, getting them dressed, making lunches and sending them off to school. I was exhausted.
I made mistakes. The second day, I sent Tilleigh's lunch with Evie and failed to give Tilleigh a lunch at all. I did, though, give William his lunch.
I forgot to help Tilleigh study her spelling words on the second night, which we had to do the next morning while she was eating breakfast. One would think I was pulling out her hair strand by strand. She was not happy.
During this time, we managed to make sure Tilleigh didn't miss swim practice or Evie miss gymnastics class. And we maintained this "normal" routine while my daughter was being tested for heart disease, meningitis, etc.
Finally, on the morning of Aug. 30, my daughter's fever broke, her blood pressure improved, her heart rate was normal, and the pain started subsiding. The doctors took her off antibiotics and pain medication and she continued to improve. So on Sunday afternoon, she came home -- without a diagnosis. Still, she felt better and all her tests, including an MRI, spinal tap and CT scan, were good.
Never in my life have I been more thankful.
Never in my life have I been more tired.
I think the worrying paired with the physical responsibility of taking care of three young children zapped every ounce of energy I had. It also made me aware of the challenges of being a single mother. I am glad that my husband and I keep the kids every Wednesday night and every other weekend because now, more than ever, I realize my daughter needs a break, even if it's to clean house or sleep.
The experience also made me aware of how fortunate my grandchildren are to have her as a mommy. She is super-active with the children. Her house isn't always spotless (it rarely is, in fact), but the kids have busy and fun lives. She takes them camping, kayaking, stand-up paddle boarding, swimming, rock climbing and hiking. They go to music concerts, art camps, and she even takes the kids out on our family's pontoon boat (a former whitewater raft guide, Kacee is an expert at maneuvering boats). Her back yard has been transformed into a bona fide playground with a playhouse, seesaw, swing set, trampoline, swimming pool and more. They have a dog, two cats and a dozen fish.
No matter how hard I tried, I could never fill Kacee's shoes. My grandchildren wouldn't want me to, either.
Contact Karen Nazor Hill at khill@timesfreepress.com or 423-757-6396.