It's mighty hard to believe this is the final column of 2019. Every year, we resolve to be a different person starting on Jan. 1. But why wait until the new year takes hold to begin making positive changes? This year, challenge yourself to end the year strong, rather than pitting your personal development on a vague point far in the future ("next year").
There's still enough time left to turn this year around - or at least to finish it strong. So here's to a list of early resolutions.
1. Donate 25 personal belongings. It matters not whether the items are clothing, books, pieces of furniture, linens, and so forth; donate them to a cause close to your heart. (If we do this before Dec. 31, it becomes a tax deduction assuming we itemize.) By the way - and do as I say and not as I do - each time this next year when you buy an article of clothing, get rid of something already in the closet.
2. List the 12 best points you accomplished in 2019. It's almost impossible to think of something positive accomplished for every week, much less for 365 days. On the other hand, 12 is a small enough number and especially by the month, we should be able to come up with a short list of personal triumphs. It could be as significant as giving $500 to your place of worship in April or as little as babysitting your little monster nephew in October while Sister goes for a much-needed massage. And, hey - if you can think of more than 12, that's great news that deserves to be added to your compulsory chart.
3. List five to eight "jobs" you wish you'd done this year... but didn't. Make a record of what you meant to accomplish this year, but never got around to. Again, these can range from considerably down the ladder to small. For example, Doctor Doofus told you to lose 10 pounds because of elevated blood pressure; instead, you gained 10 more! Or maybe nephew Teddy Terrible acted so "terribly" when you babysat that you spanked him with a flyswatter, then bribed the little terror not to tell Big Sis.
4. Extend a genuine and heartfelt "thank you" to the people who got you, hook or crook, through the year. Once more, these can run the gamut. The mail carrier who climbs your hill to deliver the mail when she knows you're disabled. What about your sweet husband who week in and week out washed and dried those three loads of dirty laundry? Let's give all the generous folks around us a big thank you and tell them how much their gestures mean.
5. Apologize for mistakes you've made this year in hurting others. This one reminds me of Alcoholic/Narcotic Anonymous' "12 Steps." If we've hurt others during the year, whether on purpose or unintentionally, don't let the new year dawn without an apology (Kinda like the old adage about never going to sleep angry with one's spouse). After all, it's never too late to say you're sorry.
6. Forgive others for the mistakes they made this year. Forgiveness simply means making the deliberate and heartfelt decision to let go of any anger, resentment and blame that you've been holding onto. We shouldn't make the mistake of thinking we're perfect, so why should we believe others' actions are foolproof?
7. Unlearn a negative belief. Write down three destructive beliefs you've been holding about yourself, other people or your own world. "I have no personality," "I can't help being fat," "Nobody likes me," "Other people are just mean," "Refugees will destroy my country and/or take my job." Attitudes like these or basic generalities can, frankly, do us in, which means we'll never see the beautiful and positive side of life.
8. Itemize what you want but fear asking for and then make a firm plan on how to seek out solutions. Frankly, you also deserved the raise your cubicle partner received, for instance, but Supervisor Scrooge ignored your emptying wallet. Decide when and how you plan to make an appeal to the boss that proves you deserve more bucks. Perhaps you need to hire someone to boost your resume or quote co-workers who view your work on a daily basis and know it as extremely worthwhile. If you've been putting off asking the pretty lady who teaches next door to you for a date, gather up the 'ole nerve and speak up. Remember, the worse that can happen is a simple "No."
9. Anything else you fear? Think hard as this is the culmination of your personal strategies. Possibly the best tactic to remember at this point – two days before year's end – is we have the power to alter ourselves, even if in tiny ways. Whether through positivity in what we attempt all the way to planning concrete life changes that we previously felt too difficult or even impossible to attain, faith in ourselves becomes the mantra for 2020!
Ellen Phillips Contact Ellen Phillips at consumerwatch@timesfreepress.com.