Dad: "Hey bud, how was your day today?"
Son: "Fine."
Dad: "Was it a good day?"
Son: "Yep."
Son: "Can I go play now?"
Have you had this conversation? We have, too often. After a couple of these, it was time to regroup and rethink how we created conversation with our kids. To get the most engagement from your little ones, ask them questions that interest them. Ask questions that spark their imagination. If you want to know how their day is, invite them to do something with you and ask questions while doing something together. If kids feel like they are being interrogated, they will resolve to one-word answers.
Conversations with your kids can be informative and entertaining. When we engage our young children in healthy conversation, we lay the groundwork for deeper conversations as they get older. I want us to be the first people our kids go to when they need to talk about a challenging topic or have big questions about the world.
There is so much opportunity to have fun conversations with your kids if you start with the right questions. We have learned from experience not to ask questions with one-word answers. Open-ended questions are where it's at.
TRY THESE
Here are some of our favorite conversation starters.
For check-ins and deeper conversations:
> What is the most fascinating thing you learned today?
> What is your favorite part about today?
> Who did you eat lunch with? Or play on the playground with?
> What is the oddest thing you did today?
> What is a new experience you had this week?
> What is something you have recently done that you are proud of?
For mealtime or drive time:
> If you could only eat one fruit for the rest of your life, which would you pick and why?
> Would you rather live in an igloo or a treehouse?
> Would you rather be able to walk on the moon or breathe underwater?
> What's something new you'd like to try this year?
> What's your favorite memory of the last year?
> If you could go back in time and change your name, what would you choose?
> What do you think the clouds feel like?
> What's your favorite color in the rainbow?
> What's the best thing about being the exact age you are right now?
> If you were deep-sea diving, which creatures would you like to see?
> What's your favorite thing to do when it's raining?
> If you could fly, where would you go?
> If you had one superpower, what would it be?
> Who would you like to get a letter from?
> What do you most wonder about the future?
> If you could hang out with anyone in history, who would it be? And what would you do?
To get the most out of any conversation starters, you have to be all in. Be willing to answer any questions you ask, and have fun with the answers.
Remember, you are laying the foundation for the more challenging conversations that are coming. If your kids can rely on you to answer the crazy questions, they'll be more willing to ask the challenging ones. Have fun, and be ready to laugh a lot!
Mitchell Qualls is a content creator and the operations director at family advocacy nonprofit First Things First. Email him at mitchell@firstthings.org.
Mitchell Qualls