Dear Abby: Sisters react differently in longtime rift with mom

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DEAR ABBY: Seventeen years ago, when my sister "Elise" and I were 19 and 25, our mother kicked us out. I have long since forgiven her, and I have a happy relationship with her. Elise has never let it go. I don't understand why, because she's the older of us, and 25 was a normal age to leave the nest.

Elise refuses to see our mother unless someone drives out to pick her up, so every holiday and birthday my stepfather picks her up and drives her round trip. Even when my sister is there, she speaks to no one, not even me. Mom and I talk and beg her to join us, while Elise sits off to the side and refuses to join in. I have planned girls' trips for the three of us with the same result.

I