Dear Abby: Man's controlling behavior still dominates ex's life

RO-51

DEAR ABBY: I was married for almost 20 years to a jealous, controlling man. "Pete" was emotionally abusive, which I didn't really notice because I'm not confrontational. I would just try to make him happy and ignore his controlling behavior. Toward the end of our marriage, I realized how isolated I had become. I had pushed most of my friends and family away. They didn't want to visit because of Pete's negative attitude.

Our daughter developed an illness in her teens that requires 24-hour care. Her illness didn't necessarily upset him; what did upset him is the attention she would require in the future. He would say things like, "She's ruining our retirement. I was looking forward to having you to myself and not having to deal with anyone."