While all churches rightfully have their own unique flavor, I suppose the hymn books, King James Bibles, male pastor, male deacons and regular lighting gives mine away as a traditional kind of church. As such, about 50 weeks out of the year, my wife/church secretary comes and asks me how I want something done, and then she sees to it exactly the way I ask. But about those other two weeks ...
Being the Mad Hatter, complete with the huge orange eyebrows, outfit and mannerisms, was definitely unique for me, as was last year when I was Captain America, complete with the shield and outfit; years past in which I have been such characters as Ahasuerus, "famous Christian rapper" Yo-Yo Samson and other unique figures along the way.
Sept. 10 is rapidly approaching, which this year is the date of our annual ladies meeting. My wife got a burden to do this 13 years ago and set into it with all her might. She wanted a meeting where godly ladies, and occasionally some odd character I portray, could speak to ladies and be an encouragement to them. She sets out an amazing meal for everyone in attendance, gives away stunning gifts and, in general, makes every lady in attendance feel like the most special person on Earth. She and our church ladies prepare for it an entire year in advance, and then the two weeks leading up to it are taken up with nothing but that.
And I intentionally take a back seat and set about serving her as she serves others.
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In one of the very early meetings, a bunch of unexpected ladies showed up without tickets and thus were not accounted for in the meal prep. I could see Dana beginning to panic, and I calmly told her not to worry; I would handle it. Mind you, on the inside I was panicking worse than she was. But I smoothly walked to my truck, drove out of the parking lot -- and then turned into Bo Duke, jumping terraces and rivers on the way to the grocery store. Then I raced a buggy back to the deli, grabbed every piece of chicken, every tub of potato salad and coleslaw and beans that they had, raced back, added it to what we already had, and no one ever knew how close we came to disaster except perhaps an old lady that I nearly body-checked into the fruits and vegetables there in Ingles.
Since then, we always prepare for way more than are expected.
Our men join in to help, and all of us know that we answer to Dana. If she wants it to happen, we make it happen. We prepare the food, serve the food, clean everything up and haul everything away.
My dear bride is everything a Christian lady ought to be. Godly, faithful, modest, submissive to me as her husband; she is, I think, the perfect picture of a Christian wife. She is also, though, brilliant, talented, hard-working and a visionary. And she has the respect not just of the ladies but also of every man in our church. And that makes for a great recipe for an amazing meeting.
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There was a year we had 356 in attendance. Most every year, people come from at least five states for the meeting. We have given away custom-made wooden furniture, original paintings, jewelry and spa trips. Dana and the church spare no expense on this day. People have wept, laughed, sat in utter silence and absorbed, and been changed for the better.
It is a huge undertaking. It does not put any money in our pockets, it has not resulted in any new members, and none of that is the point. Ladies have to put up with a lot in life, and they need a day to come away and be refreshed; that is the point of all of the effort.
And so I will do what seems so unusual this time each year. I will push my wife to the forefront and say a lot of "Yes ma'am"s and "What do you need from me"s. I will be the wind under her wings instead of vice versa. And I will not worry about anyone coming for my man card; before Ephesians 5:22 told wives to submit to their husbands, Ephesians 5:21 told everyone, including husbands and wives, to submit themselves one to another, and that is applicable all 52 weeks out of the year. Besides, I am a powerlifter with a black belt, so I suspect I can probably hold onto that man card pretty well in most cases.
I guess I have said all of that to say these two things. One, if any of you ladies would like to come to the meeting, I know my dear bride would love to have you. Just shoot her an email at mrs.preacherswife@yahoo.com, and she will send you a link for tickets. Two, to all of you men out there, and especially you husbands, if you expect your wife to be some kind of a domestic servant with no thoughts or plans or dreams other than to fulfill your desires, then I feel sorry for her and have little respect for you. You do not build a Proverbs 31 woman like that; you build a woman like the pitiful ladies I have seen in the past who would not even look a man in the eye to speak to him.
Men, the command of Philippians 2:3, "but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves," applies to how you treat your wife. And to put it bluntly, if you are a boorish husband, you are a bad husband. Any jerk can expect his wife to be a doormat, and most of them do. The wise and godly husband will always seek to elevate his wife and to make her feel like a queen.
Even if it means serving the food and doing the dishes while she stands on the stage of the ladies meeting.
Bo Wagner is pastor of Cornerstone Baptist Church of Mooresboro, North Carolina, a widely traveled evangelist and the author of several books available on Amazon and at wordofhismouth.com. Email him at 2knowhim@cbc-web.org.
Pastor Bo Wagner