If I were of a petty or sensitive nature, I would be pretty sore right now. I really dislike losing anyway; add to that the fact that I lost using my prized Iron Man golf ball while my opponent was using, of all things, a SpongeBob SquarePants golf ball, and the loss becomes all the more difficult to cope with. But it was not just Iron Man who went down to the goofy character who, for some reason, apparently lives in a pineapple under the sea. Captain America, the Hulk and a few Pro V1s got torched as well.
Last weekend was our church's annual men's retreat. A big group of us headed out together after the Wednesday evening service and went to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, for two and a half days of really great fellowship. Each year we do this, we eat several fantastic meals together, play board games late into the night (this year's choice was Mexican train dominoes), do some shopping and, most importantly, we gather for a time of worship and prayer and Bible study each night, focusing on issues very relevant to godly men.
But during the day, we also have a two-day mini-golf tournament. We play two courses, and the lowest combined score over the two days wins. We present the winner with a personal trophy and also have his name engraved on our Cecil Reid Cup that stays at the church. This has been going on for four years now. The first two years, I inexplicably shot the lights out and won. And I do not use that word "inexplicably" in some faux-humble manner. I golf about once a year, and I play mini-golf once a year as well, and I have never been particularly decent at either. But for those two years, I simply could not miss.
Last year, it very much looked like I would win again. But I lost by one stroke on the very last hole to Pastor Dye, a preacher friend who comes along with us each year and has been brought into our fold as an honorary member.
This year, I was never in contention. But our very newest participant, brother Bruce, was.
Now, you should understand that absolutely everyone loves this guy. He is impossible to dislike, in fact. He has a constant smile, a cheery disposition, an infectious sense of humor and is utterly self-deprecating. So, if any of us were going to lose, he would have been the first choice of who to lose to.
Enter the SpongeBob golf ball.
Most of us, who have a few years of experience (and a few years of good-natured trash-talking) under our belts, brought our own putters and golf balls from home. Bruce, though, opted for the standard, course-provided rubber putter. He did, though, at the very last minute, rush back into the nearby flea market to find a decent golf ball. He emerged with a bright yellow SpongeBob ball. This, naturally, led to some ribbing from the other men with the (ahem) manlier superhero/PGA favorite golf balls.
He killed us all. SpongeBob recycled Iron Man into soda cans, reduced Captain America's shield to a glorified oyster shell, shrank the Hulk to a shrimp and left our Pro V1 crowd mumbling about drivers and three-woods.
And we have all vowed to have our revenge next year.
Some years ago, a few very proudly pious preachers curtly informed me that Christians have no business wasting time with frivolities. We are here but a short time and all of that time must be dedicated to winning the lost around the world. "We can rest when we get to heaven," one grimly assured me.
To put it mildly, the years have not been kind to those men or their ministries; they have become a wreckage of broken homes and disintegrated efforts. And the people they tried to lead have mostly all left for happier pastures.
(READ MORE: Here's my best advice for fellow members of the clergy)
Proverbs 27:6-17 mentions friends six times, including verse nine, which speaks of "the sweetness of a man's friend." In John 15:13, Jesus told the men who were with him night and day, walking and talking and serving and fishing and eating together, "Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends."
A church that truly wants to help both itself and others over the long term is wise to cultivate both faith and friendship in its people. People who pray together might stay together, but people who both pray together and play together almost assuredly will.
Now if you will excuse me, I need to go do some research on this SpongeBob character. I have never watched it, but now, I need to find its weakness before next year's rematch.
Bo Wagner is pastor of Cornerstone Baptist Church of Mooresboro, North Carolina, a widely traveled evangelist and the author of several books available on Amazon and at wordofhismouth.com. Email him at 2knowhim@cbc-web.org.