From the files of the Interweb being a strange, funny and at times head-scratchingly surreal place come the following two stories that are perfect for you 5-at-10ers.
First, there's the social media storm that consumed actor Robbie Amell over the weekend because his throwing motion as a high school quarterback in the 2015 movie "The DUFF" was unbelievable.
Here's the Deadspin story on Amell, who admitted that he thought this was coming the first time he saw this clip because the throwing motion, in a word, is rotten.
To be fair, the movie clearly is no great shakes either if it takes four years for the Twitter hecklers to start picking at it.
In the end, Amell, tired of the heckling, interrupts a "date night" with his pregnant wife to prove he actually can throw a football. Good times.
Second, do you remember DJ Cooper, the former basketball player at THE Ohio State? Well, Cooper is playing overseas and has now received a two-year suspension for cheating on a drug test by using someone else's urine.
How was FIBA so sure it was someone else's urine? Well, either Cooper subbed out the pee, or he's the first man in history to become pregnant. (He later admitted it was his girlfriend's urine, so congratulations are in order, I guess.)
Side question: I know it's a pregnancy test, but what is failing a pregnancy test and what is passing a pregnancy test? Discuss.
Boom goes the bullpen
Uh oh. Seriously. Like OMG or whatever frisky slang abbreviation or emoji doohickey the kids use these days to show serious concern.
(Side question: Which is a bigger man violation in the code books of doing things right as an example for the next generation? Grown man using emojis, putting ketchup on steak or taking a glove to a baseball game? Discuss.)
Anyhoo, the Braves made a slew of moves to strengthen their bullpen before last Wednesday's trading deadline.
They looked like a number of excellent acquisitions and acquiring.
And they are starting to look like damaged goods.
No, I am not giving up on Shane Greene (although Brian Snitker's decision not to use him as the closer last night was rather telling, no?) after Greene has been pummeled in his short time with the Braves.
Snitker turned to Chris Martin, the 6-foot-8, hard-throwing righty acquired from Texas. Martin allowed a game-ending, two-run dinger to Miguel Sano last night.
The arms and names are different, the bullpen woes are still the same for the Braves, who, as Mark Wiedmer has dubbed it, could be staring down the barrel of the Kimbrel Curse.
(Here's Weeds' excellent column exploring that notion. And if we're going to figure out a way to get out of the Kimbrel Curse, well, I nominate Rick Camp to perform the exorcism. Or maybe Gene Garber. How about the Mad Hungarian? Washed-up Bruce Sutter? The buffet-bash-brothers of Charlie Kerfell and Terry Forster? Dear Lord, the Braves have had a lot of terrible closers, no?)
Because it's college football, people
OK, couple or three things because we are now a week into August. Well, almost.
And that means with each passing day, there's college football to discuss and recount.
First, the news and blips and the tidbits.
> Auburn speedster Anthony Schwartz had surgery to mend a broken bone in his hand. He will miss at least a month and maybe more. Dude is LEEE-git fast. Like outrun LSU secondary quick. According to his AUsports.com profile, Schwartz was the 2018 Gatorade national track and field athlete of the year and was the World Youth record-holder in the 100 and the 200. (Not sure if that white dude from Texas beat those marks this past year or not.)
> The D in David stands for delivery, as in delivering a ton of college football items like TFP college football wizard — which is better a wizard or a guru, discuss — David Paschall does daily this time of year. Here's Alabama's plan to maximize the best receiving corps in the country. Also here's DP 'delivering' on Georgia, with a look at their new play caller and details on five-star LB Brenton Cox heading to the transfer portal. As Paschall rightly said on Press Row on Monday, the way Alabama and UGA recruit is just different beast and leaves them with different options. If, say Auburn, was about to dismiss a five-star defensive recruit, it would really sting and hurt. Georgia? They take the Coming to America approach, "Bleep you, bleep you, bleep you. Who's next?"
> Gene of Many Hats Henley, the TFP UT beat ace, updates us on UT's secondary and its progress.
> North Georgia legend Lindsey Young has the Mocs details as they returned to a renovated Scrappy Moore Field. If you do not already follow Lindsey, well, if you want Mocs news, his Twitter handle is @youngsports22.
> And nationally, well, here are the single worst alternate uniforms I think I have ever seen, Oregon and TCU included. And that's saying something friends. It's Michigan State adding some neon to their green jerseys because, well, when I think of East Lansing, neon is a instant connection. How about you? The photos are painful.
This and that
— Today's A2 column on the HCDE training session last week and the hubbub that followed. And yes, let's just go ahead and say there will be some hate mail in this week's mailbag.
— Because we just simply can't take a joke, the Miami Marlins Twitter person and the organization have apologized for offending anyone with the fact that Steve Irwin was killed by a stingray. Here's the exchange, and yes, it's a fairly easy assumption to make that the Marlins Twitterer is clearly the franchise's best player at his or her position.
— We admitted our unabashed love for Washington State football coach Mike Leach on Monday. Here's more social media of the man, the myth and the legend of Leach belly-flopping at the behest of his chanting team. Do not ever change, coach. EVER.
— Hard Knocks is back today. Count me in. Who's with me? (Here's a USA Today story on the best moments through the years of Hard Knocks. Good times.)
— We have said on multiple occasions that no one has ever received the type of pass on his crimes and sins like Michael Jackson did. Here's an interesting interview with Sheryl Crow, who was a back-up singer for Jackson coming up. Man. Tragic.
— The top basketball player in the 2020 class has committed to USC. The top basketball player in the 2020 class's daddy is an assistant coach at USC. Sure, that's just a coincidence. Side question: Does anyone have more job security than Eric Mobley, the daddy/USC assistant, over the next few months before 7-footer Evan signs? Also of note, Evan's brother was a five-star player who will be a freshman at USC this fall. USC — like Auburn and Tennessee — as a basketball school? Egad.
— Keep an eye on this trend, as posted from David Purdum, because this is going to be the norm in a few years. Believe that. Here's the post from Purdum (@DavidPurdum): "NBC Sports Washington and the Washington Redskins will provide the NFL's 1st interactive, predictive-gaming live TV presentation of the team's four preseason games. Free to play. Cash prizes." That will be an interactive system in which fans can predict the next play, the result, you name it.
True or false... it's a Tuesday. (Yes, that's true Spy.)
Speaking of high school track superstars, the above mentioned Texas high school sprinter, Matt Boling is his name, is headed to Georgia. That is true. True or false for the group, Kirby Smart has already asked about if he has any interest in football. (Still, sweet buckets of intramural titles, Boling's flag football team is preseason No. 1 in the UGA intramural power poll.)
True or false, the next 'Last Chance U' style documentary must be with Mike Leach and his Washington State Cougars. Tell me you wouldn't watch that. Just try to tell me that. Heck the Pac-12 should do it and give us all a reason to pay attention to the Pac-12 Network.
On this day, Aug. 6, the U.S. dropped atomic bombs on Japan in 1945. Today is national fresh breath day — again, that's one that should kind of be a goal every day no?
David Robinson was born today; he's 54. Punky Brewster is 43 today. That will make you feel dated. Mike Greenberg is 52 today. Kareem Hunt is 24 today. Man JonBenet would have been 29 today. Think about that one.
On this day in 1960, one Chubby Checker did "The Twist" on the Dick Clark show. It set off a national craze. Rushmore of dances. Go.