Bully Braves
Braves played. Braves won.
It should be expected against a Marlins team that is 45-79 overall and 20-40 on the road. Atlanta is 13-4 against the Fish this year. That'll do, pig. That'll do. (Side question: Yes, that was a random "Babe" quote. What off-the-wall movie do you pull quotes from that may surprise the group? That reference is a contender for me. So is Mad Max saying, "Two days ago I saw a vehicle that'd haul that tanker. You want to get out of here? You talk to me" in Road Warrior. ((Side question about the side question: Why is Road Warrior not right there in the conversation about movie sequels better than the original.)) Another random movie that has a slew quotable lines in daily conversation - and several that are not fit got a F-O-I-B morning ramble is "Sling Blade.")
Back to the baseball, the Braves won because Freddie Freeman did a bunch of Freddie Freeman things: he hit two homers, a two-run single and scored on a Matt Joyce single to account for all of Atlanta's runs in a 5-1 win. That'll do, pig. That'll do.
The Braves won because Dallas Keuchel looked the part of a legit ace, going six innings and allowing one run on six hits. Sneaky big, veteran quality for Keuchel last night? IN at least two innings, the Marlins put the first two runners on and Keuchel delivered jam-shot pitches to induce 1-4-3 double plays. That'll do, pig. That'll do.
The Braves won because for the third straight game - all Ws - the bullpen looked well-oiled and supremely efficient. In this little mini-three-game win streak, the bullpen has now pitched 11.1 innings, allowing one run on nine hits with 14 Ks. That'll do, pig. That'll do.
Also of note, Braves manager Brian Snitker got tossed one hitter into the home half of the first after the Marlins plunked Ronald Acuña Jr. Yes, that happened and then that happened. That'll do, Snit. That'll do.
Quarterback qualms
OK, it appears all the quarterback jobs have been handed out. Here's some reviews and thoughts:
> Not surprisingly, Justin Fields won the job Monday at THE Ohio State. I believe Fields is going to roast the Big Ten - a league that we all know could be divided into two divisions, The Slow and The Slower - with his legs. With that offense, Fields feels like a 3,500-plus-yards passing and 1,000-plus-yards rushing season that ends sitting next to Tua and Trevor at the Downtown Athletic Club in December.
> Also, not surprisingly, Jalen Hurts won the job at Oklahoma. Although, according to this, it was much closer than many of us may have expected. (That's high praise for true freshman Spencer Rattler - an excellent college football name in my view - and the future of the OU offense under Lincoln Riley, until he leaves to coach the Dallas Cowboys, that is.) Hurts has high end stat possibilities, too, considering how cute the Big 12 is when they try to tackle.
> J.T. Daniels won the USC starting job. Again, not a surprise. He played in almost every game last year. Hottest seat in the country has to be Clay Helton's, right?
> West Virginia named Oklahoma transfer Austin Kendall as their guy. West Virginia has the look of a team that is going to take a noticeable step backward this fall, no?
> Auburn picked Bo NIx. I had previously expected it to be Joey Gatewood, a bigger, run-first QB who could have presented a Cam-like presence in the run game. But Gus Malzahn went with the true freshman and AU legacy in Nix, whose daddy Patrick quarterbacked Auburn 25 years ago and delivered one of my three favorite in-attendance AU football memories when he found Frank Sanders in the end zone to shock the No. 1-ranked Gators in The Swamp. (Sorry, Todd C.) And since the Tigers return to Gainesville this year, be prepared for that storyline to be revisited. A lot. As for surprise factor, maybe a smidge, but considering that Gus has to know the pressure on his performance this season, you have to believe in his decision as an AU fan, no?
As for QB battles still being sorted out, well, FSU and Georgia Tech are among a handful of teams in the ACC still trying to figure out their starter. Washington has not officially named Jacob Eason as its dude, but that seems like a foregone conclusion.
The last two QB starters to be named in the SEC are at Arkansas and Vandy. So there's that.
Game week, gang. Game week.
Sneaky Value
OK, amid the highlights of U.S. women's soccer star Carli Lloyd booting a 55-yard field goal at Eagles practice Monday, some thoughts occurred to me. (Yes, Spy, there was smoke coming from my ears.)
First, I fully believe that an NFL would sign a female kicker if she was reliable enough to make the roster. Granted it would need to be the right scenario from a numbers-standpoint in that said team's punter would also have to be comfortable kicking off.
Not saying that it should be Lloyd, who drilled a very impressive 55-yard blast but took like seven or eight steps before launch, way more than the normal left-right-plant-BOOM that kickers use today to avoid a possible block. Just saying that if there was a female who delivered time and again, there would be a place for her in the NFL.
That also got me thinking - yes Spy, we get it - about value and this sneaky postulate. Is kicker more valuable than running back in today's NFL?
Let's review some evidence.
Example 1. Excellent NFL writer and analytics guru Bill Barnwell of ESPN.com put together what he deemed the ultimate NFL roster that fit a galaxy of stars under the NFL's $188.2 million salary cap.
Naturally a lot of those dudes - Patrick Mahomes, JuJu Smith-Schuster, Darius Leonard among them - were on rookie deals. That's to be expected as teams build and spend around strong draft picks and classes in the maximum winning window.
Still, Barnwell filled a couple of spots with the league's best-paid player at his position. One of those was Aaron Donald because, well, he's Aaron Donald. Another was Patriots kicker Stephen Gostkowski, who makes more than $3 million per year, or roughly the combined salary of the five running backs - including Alvin Kamara, Chris Carson and Phillip Lindsey - on Barnwell's team.
That's inherent cost value.
What about perceived value? Well, we all discuss the Patriots Way, and we all know the two on-field constants for New England's amazing dynastic run in the salary cap era. Brady and Belichick. (Sorry, Stewwie, Belichick and Brady* is your order.)
Well, want to know the next place the Patriots, an organization that has forever lived by the mantra of releasing a player a year too soon rather than a year too late (especially when an extension is involved) have been the most consistent?
Yep, placekicker, where Gostkowski took over for Adam Vinatieri, two of the best to ever do it.
Plus, in a league where so many games are decided by a field goal, having a supremely trustable kicker not only eases the stress level at the end of games, it allows a defensive-minded head coach to play better percentages in decision-making and strategy.
Thoughts?
This and that
- Yes, I watched Hard Knocks, which is now being frequently referred to as Soft Knocks by Golic or Wingo and the rest of the heckle-fest that is social media. I say this with nothing but love for the Hard Knocks series - especially the bigwig of the franchise, who has been on our radio show multiple times - but I am soooooooooooooooo sick of the Antonio Brown stuff, I fell asleep watching it last night.
- Thought this was interesting: As both the players and the owners are starting to posture in the looming CBA talks, each side appears to agree on this interesting compromise. Yes, fewer preseason games and an expanded playoff field certainly seem intriguing, no?
- Speaking of Brady, here's Philip Rivers adding fuel to Stewwie's raging "Brady* ain't the GOAT" stance. (Side point about Rivers' view: It's not overly surprising that a quarterback teetering on the line between Hall of Fame numbers and lack of Hall of Fame resume line items would take the "I don't judge quarterbacks on Super Bowls" stance considering Rivers have never even played in one.)
- I know Tommy Glavine is in the Hall of Fame and all, but Jeff Franceour > Glavine in the broadcast booth. At least that's my view. (And do not sleep on Paul Byrd as a studio guy or a booth guy. Dude is pretty clever.)
- No one wins in a divorce. But Larry King has now had seven divorces. Seven. I am 48 years old and I have had fewer cars - Pontiac Bonneville, Ford Mustang GT convertible, Isuzu Rodeo, Ford Expedition, Chevy Tahoe - than Larry has had Mrs. Kings.
- Amid the shake-up of ESPN's NBA coverage comes news that Stephen A. Smith will have a bigger role. That makes sense. Dude knows his NBA. We also have seen reports that Maria Taylor and Rachel Nichols will take over the host role from Michelle Beadle and we know that Chauncey Billups and Paul Pearce will not return. Here's the question ESPN must be asking themselves: Can they go get the TNT trio of Ernie, Chuck and The Jet? (Sorry, Shaq. You are replaceable, big fella.)
Today's questions
Which way Wednesday will start this way, and it's a doozy.
Trending on Twitter this morning was #BestTVShowLineEver and the nominees are awesome in their awesomeness.
Of course there's "No Soup for you" and a slew of Seinfeld classics.
There's "Where are my dragons?" from the Mother of Dragons in GoT.
Buckets, think of the icon ones. Live long and prosper. Kiss my grits. Say Good Night Gracie; Good night Gracie. Heeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrre's Johnny. Live from New York, it's Saturday night. Did I do that? Ayyyeeeeeeeee (from the Fonz). You got some splainin' to do.
Egads, this one is tough. Is this even possible to whittle to a Rushmore never mind a singular which one?
Buckets. My head hurts.
OK, which QB battle is not over even if the coach says it's been decided?
Which Braves player is more important in this pennant chase, Freddie or Acuña?
On this day 60 years ago, Hawaii became a state. Happy birthday, Hawaii. You are special.
On this day in 1942 Bambi was released, and we've said it before and will say it again, if you do not tear up when the hunter's rifle echoes, well, you need to see a doctor ASAP and inquire about your missing soul.
OK, Kenny Rogers is 81 today. Dude, what a dude. Had a way better career than most will recall.
Rushmore of singers in a leading role in a movie, because his turn in Six Pack was underrated, friends.