Someone explain this to me, please.
Why is there so much press about the upcoming Royal Wedding in England? (And why is Royal Wedding capitalized?)
The E! Network thinks it's crucial enough to have a weekly countdown to the wedding, which takes place Saturday and involves a couple named Harry and Meghan. Apparently, though, the Queen just gave her official OK for the wedding to take place. Who knew that was a requirement?
And then there's all the fuss about Royal Baby. (Again, why the capitalization?) He's just a baby (but not Harry and Meghan's, thank goodness. Think of the Royal Shame). Certainly a very powerful baby who's rich beyond counting and will lead an extremely interesting and well-heeled life, but again, just a baby conceived and born in the usual ways.
We're American; what do we care about royalty in England? After all, we have such U.S. "royalty" as the Kardashian kinfolk, Oprah and all those Trump kids and their spouses.
Celebrity gossip - I will not call it journalism - is a runaway train of empty calories, but that's nothing new. Being famous simply for being famous is the norm.
There's a chicken-and-egg question on whether a person became famous because someone decided they should be famous or whether they were famous before and simply got more famous.
I know, it all kind of makes my head hurt, too.
On E's website, there are headlines that say: Celeb Mother-Daughter Duos We Can't Get Enough Of. Yeah, well, not so much. Haven't we had enough of Kris Jenner and her herd of well-plastic-surgeoned daughters?
Obviously, supermarket tabloids and networks like E! show there's a market for this kind of vapidity. Perhaps it takes the mind off politics and the Damocles swords of nuclear war and global warming, or that school's about to be out and you have no idea what you're going to do with the kids this summer.
Certainly there's a vicarious element. When a steaming Lean Cuisine fresh from the microwave sits in front of you, some bills are overdue and you hate your job, it can be soothing to imagine yourself on the red carpet in a fabulous gown or tuxedo.
So celebrity gossip, for all of its emptiness, does fulfill a need for some. Which means we'll continue to see such crucial news as:
"Jana Kramer and Mike Caussin Address Their Reconciliation for the First Time Together" and "Chanel Iman Is Pregnant, Expecting First Child with Sterling Shepard."
My only question: Why do we care?
Contact Shawn Ryan at mshawnryan@gmail.com.