Have you ever agreed as a couple not to buy each other Christmas gifts? Yet when Christmas day arrived, one of you (usually the wife) actually bought a little something because it wouldn't be Christmas without being able to give at least one gift to your sweetie.
Panic sets in because you (usually the husband) naively believed you were off the hook this year. You question your memory: "We did have a conversation about not buying each other gifts, right?" You don't remember any follow-up conversations changing this decision. You wonder how you ended up in the doghouse when this time, you actually followed directions. Note to self: "I won't fall for that one again."
Right now, many husbands are wondering what in the world they should give their wife in an effort not to end up in the doghouse. Most women agree that, if it has something to do with housekeeping or losing weight, even if the thought behind it is kind -- forget it.
If you are on the hunt for the perfect gift for your wife, for starters you could ask her what she would like. If she refuses to tell you, don't argue. Move on to Plan B.
Plan B: Pay attention to things she enjoys and the way she spends her time. Does she like to be outside and active? Does she collect anything like angels, pottery, tea cups, pitchers, vases or antiques? What makes her face light up? The answers to these questions could be very helpful in finding that perfect gift.
In case you are still struggling a bit, here are some helpful hints:
• A massage or a pedicure is always good. Not very creative, but good.
• Purchase some of her favorite go-to items like special lotion, fragrance, candles, books, tea and/or coffee.
• A surprise date night to her favorite restaurant or to see a play or concert. Don't forget to line up the babysitter. It's not a real date if the person receiving the gift has to do the work to make it happen.
• Do you have a crafty skill like woodworking or making stained glass? She might enjoy something you made specifically with her in mind.
• If finances are an issue, believe it or not, a handwritten letter expressing your love for her and how she makes your life rich is a priceless gift.
• Throw practical out the window. This is the time you give something that you know your wife would never purchase for herself.
• Take her on a window shopping date and pay attention to what catches her eye.
• If you already have her gift, you could start having a little fun now by leaving clues about the gift in unusual places where you know she will find them. Creating anticipation can be a lot of fun.
At the end of the day, the bottom line for a woman typically centers around the thought that went into the gift, not necessarily how much money you spent. It really is the thought that counts.
Julie Baumgardner is president and CEO of First Things First. Contact her at julieb@firstthings.org.