BARRY COURTER: Lisa, I know I don't have to tell you that the Man Xpo is this weekend at First Tennessee Pavilion, and not because it's an event the newspaper puts on.
LISA DENTON: You are correct, sir. I've been looking for a way to make new friends ever since they quit putting those Missed Connections ads in the classifieds (aka, the Etc. section). I don't know why we did away with those ads, but they were my favorite part of the newspaper.
Lisa Denton and Barry Courter
BARRY: The Xpo will have plenty of things for dads and sons to do, but also moms and daughters. Things like the Fish N Fun Pond, a golf simulator, a beer garden and a Krystal-eating contest featuring police, firemen and local emergency medical services personnel.
LISA: And a NASCAR simulator. Boogity boogity boogity.
Speaking of manly men, Peyton Manning, five-time NFL MVP, will be in Athens, Tenn., on Saturday for a Chamber of Commerce benefit. You reckon we'll ever be named TFP MVPs?
BARRY: We? No. Never. Unless the TFP stands for Two Foolish People.
Maybe the coolest event of the week will be Secret Weave & Volcanic Eruptions present Films (and More) of Crispin Glover. Daddy McFly will actually be in the house at Barking Legs Theater, narrating the event on Thursday and Friday. There will also be a book signing and Q&A session.
LISA: He's an interesting guy mostly known for eccentric roles, including the films he'll be showing, which are two in a planned trilogy that he has written, starred in, produced and directed. And did you know his middle name is Hellion? You hear kids called that sometimes, but it's usually not their actual name.
BARRY: Oh, and I couldn't help but notice two events on the calendar that neither you nor I will ever need. The first is a food preservation class being taught by the UT Extension Agency at their office off Bonny Oaks on Tuesday. That's as useful to me as wine rack (not because I don't partake of the grape, but because it never lasts long enough around my house to need to be racked).
The second is a Raw Vegan Potluck, with Southern Sqweeze and the Vegetarian and Vegan Chattanooga Meet-Up Group at Miller Plaza on Thursday. Vegetarian I get, but I need my dairy.
Get event details every Thursday in ChattanoogaNow or online anytime at www.ChattanoogaNow.com.
Contact Barry Courter at bcourter@timesfreepress.com or 423-757-6354. Contact Lisa Denton at ldenton@timesfreepress.com or 423-757-6281.