It is now officially the holiday season, Thanksgiving and Christmas and more, the most wonderful time of the year. May I be the first to offer you a small gift, a story to brighten your day and cheer your holiday thoughts. It is about a character I made up a few years ago and often write about.
Robbie Ryckowski was an ordinary little boy in almost every regard. Yes, other than the fact that he was absent-minded, hyper, bug-eyed, prone to uncontrollable attacks of giggling at all the wrong times, accident prone, covered in freckles and, with no common sense at all, he was perfectly ordinary.
Oh, and did I mention that he was also a magnet for trouble and that, when he got scared, his voice went away? But other than all that, he was ordinary.
On this particular day, Robbie was nervously waiting to give his teacher, Mrs. Criggles, the gift he had so carefully wrapped for her. It was the day of the class Christmas party at school, and everyone would be on holiday break once the day was done.
Mrs. Criggles had been understandably nervous since the Slippery Salamander Saga, but that is another story. All you need to know for now is that, when Robbie handed her the present and grinned his crooked grin, she was smiling but worried.
"Why thank you, Robbie," she forced herself to say. "And what might this be?"
Yes, it is poor manners to ask what a gift is rather than opening it, but if you knew Robbie, you would forgive her.
Robbie, though, just smiled and said excitedly in his squeaky voice, "Grandpa's ashes!"
Mrs. Criggles went pale. Even for Robbie Ryckowski, this was a stunner.
"Um, Robbie," she said slowly, "I "
But Robbie interrupted her excitedly, saying, "Open it, Mrs. Criggles!"
Panicking, she shoved the box back at him saying, "No, I can't."
He shoved it back to her saying, "Please, open it!"
And somewhere in the midst of all the pushing back and forth, the unthinkable happened: The paper and box beneath it ripped open, and ashes went flying everywhere.
Mrs. Criggles was covered. Robbie was covered. The other students, who had been gasping in horror, were covered, too. Worst of all, the smoke detector was covered
WOOOO WOOOO WOOO WOOO! Went the alarm. Three seconds later the door burst open. It was Vice Principal Schubert. With a fire extinguisher. WOOOOOOSH! went the extinguisher.
And now Mrs. Criggles and Robbie and all the students were covered not just in a layer of ash but also a layer of powdery-white fire extinguisher dust.
Then the sprinkler system kicked in.
Do you know what happens when water mixes with ashes and fire extinguisher dust? Think "instant zombie."
By the time the water stopped, all was dead silent, and only eyeballs could be seen through the solidifying white paste everyone was covered in.
The entire class groaned a word they were oh-so-used to saying: "Roooobbbbbbbbbie!"
He tried to speak, but naturally, could not get a word out. Mrs. Criggles, fighting desperately to regain her composure, said with a strained voice, "Robbie, why in the world did you bring me your Grandpa's ashes as a gift?"
After a few seconds of squeaking attempts, Robbie finally managed to say, "B-b-b-b-because he told me that in Isaiah 61:3, God promised to give people beauty for ashes. I overheard you last week saying that you don't feel pretty anymore since your husband died. We all think you are the prettiest teacher ever but, just in case, I went to my Grandpa's house and got some ashes from his fireplace for you."
And that is how a picture of a crying, zombie-looking teacher hugging a smiling, zombie-looking little boy came to rest on top of a very happy teacher's Christmas tree.
Bo Wagner is pastor of the Cornerstone Baptist Church of Mooresboro, N.C., and the author of several books available at www.wordofhismouth.com. Contact him at 2knowhim@cbc-web.org.