Dads2Dads: Help your teen think ahead

Dads2Dads: Help your teen think ahead

February 27th, 2018 by Tom Tozer and Bill Black in Life Entertainment

At times we all act before we think. We snatch up a deal at the store only to realize later that we need three additional components (at regular price) in order to make it work. We utter an obscenity or make a rude gesture too quickly before we realize that our children are witnesses. We jump at a timeshare opportunity before we read the fine print and learn that we'll have to pay for a long time before we get to share anything. We buy our friend's boat at a steal with the dream of one day living near a body of water.

Those are exceptions, of course. Experience has taught us adults that we need to examine all the angles before we boldly go where no one has gone before. It's an acquired skill that comes with living for a lot of years — looking beyond the thrill of the moment to what may result down the road.

Tom Tozer and Bill Black pose for a portrait Monday, March 28, 2016 at the Chattanooga Times Free Press.

Tom Tozer and Bill Black pose for a...

Photo by Angela Lewis Foster /Times Free Press.

The Past Comes Back to Haunt

Think of the myriad politicians and other public figures whose past indulgences finally catch up to them. Some of their indiscretions may well have remained hidden except for the fact that they chose public service as a career a career path that invariably fixes the spotlight on truth and reveals unsettling consequences.

Teens Run on Different Software

Teenagers seldom think in the long-term. Their existence thrives on short-term investments of time and immediate rewards. They do what's hip at the moment. Their jargon changes with every new reality show. They act by reacting to what's popular and what's going viral. They're not programmed to think of consequences. Consequences are those things way out there in the future — that place that won't get here for a very long time. In their minds, there isn't even a link between what I do today and what today may do to me tomorrow.

Today Shapes and Shakes Up Tomorrow

That explains, in part, why you shake your head in disbelief at the spider-web tattoo that suddenly shows up on your son's arm. Or make a strange wounded-animal sound when you notice your daughter's belly-button ring glistening in the sunlight. Or ask "What did I ever do to deserve this?" when your dearly beloved offspring is a star on YouTube.

The consequences of some impulsive acts fade away over time. But we all know there are turns in a youngster's life that can have tragic consequences: Shrugging off school as a waste of time. Driving too fast. Experimenting with alcohol and drugs. Spending the night in jail. Becoming sexually active. Some consequences take life in a whole other direction.

Dads, talk to your teenagers about consequences. Help them to understand that the good — or the bad — that they do today will follow them and perhaps live long after them.

Tom Tozer and Bill Black are authors of "Dads2Dads: Tools for Raising Teenagers." Like them on Facebook and follow them on Twitter at Dads2Dadsllc. Contact them at tomandbill@Dads2Dadsllc.com.

Getting Started/Comments Policy

Getting started

  1. 1. If you frequently comment on news websites then you may already have a Disqus account. If so, click the "Login" button at the top right of the comment widget and choose whether you'd rather log in with Facebook, Twitter, Google, or a Disqus account.
  2. 2. If you've forgotten your password, Disqus will email you a link that will allow you to create a new one. Easy!
  3. 3. If you're not a member yet, Disqus will go ahead and register you. It's seamless and takes about 10 seconds.
  4. 4. To register, either go through the login process or just click in the box that says "join the discussion," type your comment, and either choose a social media platform to log you in or create a Disqus account with your email address.
  5. 5. If you use Twitter, Facebook or Google to log in, you will need to stay logged into that platform in order to comment. If you create a Disqus account instead, you'll need to remember your Disqus password. Either way, you can change your display name if you'd rather not show off your real name.
  6. 6. Don't be a huge jerk or do anything illegal, and you'll be fine.

Chattanooga Times Free Press Comments Policy

The Chattanooga Times Free Press web sites include interactive areas in which users can express opinions and share ideas and information. We cannot and do not monitor all of the material submitted to the website. Additionally, we do not control, and are not responsible for, content submitted by users. By using the web sites, you may be exposed to content that you may find offensive, indecent, inaccurate, misleading, or otherwise objectionable. You agree that you must evaluate, and bear all risks associated with, the use of the Times Free Press web sites and any content on the Times Free Press web sites, including, but not limited to, whether you should rely on such content. Notwithstanding the foregoing, you acknowledge that we shall have the right (but not the obligation) to review any content that you have submitted to the Times Free Press, and to reject, delete, disable, or remove any content that we determine, in our sole discretion, (a) does not comply with the terms and conditions of this agreement; (b) might violate any law, infringe upon the rights of third parties, or subject us to liability for any reason; or (c) might adversely affect our public image, reputation or goodwill. Moreover, we reserve the right to reject, delete, disable, or remove any content at any time, for the reasons set forth above, for any other reason, or for no reason. If you believe that any content on any of the Times Free Press websites infringes upon any copyrights that you own, please contact us pursuant to the procedures outlined in the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (Title 17 U.S.C. § 512) at the following address:

Copyright Agent
The Chattanooga Times Free Press
400 East 11th Street
Chattanooga, TN 37403
Phone: 423-757-6315
Email: webeditor@timesfreepress.com