Two of the greatest sales pitches of the 20th century give comically opposite advice.
"Just do it," a Nike slogan that originated in 1988, is like a slap in the face to over-thinkers. It's a call to action. "Reveille" for couch potatoes.
Interestingly, the ad agency that coined "Just do it" says the slogan was inspired by the last words of convicted murderer Gary Gilmore, who uttered the phrase just before he was put to death by a firing squad.
Meanwhile, "Just say no" was the mantra of the 1980s and '90s War Against Drugs popularized by first lady Nancy Reagan. It was meant to be an internal stop sign, a shield.
"Just say no" reduced the illegal drug scourge to a simple choice. By just saying no, kids could theoretically avoid a possible life of addiction and ruin.
The fact that both three-word slogans are still circulating 30 years after they became popular is a tribute to their blunt force.
Stop or go. Yes or no. Stripped to their essence, most of the hard choices in life boil down to these binary decisions.
As parents, we would like our kids to make carefully considered, nuanced decisions after they have weighed the pros and cons, consulted wise adults and slept on their answers for a week or two.
But that's not the way the world works, especially for older kids who are often forced to make snap decisions under extreme peer pressure.
Somebody should invent a flash-card game for teenagers, where they are presented a scenario and asked to choose: "Just do it" or "Just say no."
Sample questions:
* You've been drinking alcohol with friends - a no-no - when you become remorseful and try to stop by claiming to have a headache. At that point, a buddy digs into his pocket and says, "Here, these will help your head." You see him wink to another guy.
Correct answer: "Just say no." Those pills could be a pilfered narcotic that mixes lethally with the alcohol and kills you on the spot. Full stop. No do-overs.
* A guidance counselor calls you in the office and tells you that she has a scholarship for a study-abroad opportunity for someone like you. The catch is that you've already gotten a part-time job lined up in hopes of saving a few hundred dollars for college.
Correct answer: "Just do it." The travel, that is. Chances are your summer earnings will be just a drop in the bucket toward your college expenses, and the summer abroad might be life-changing. Being too risk-averse at 17 can lead to a lifetime of low-risk mediocrity.
* A group of your senior-class friends wants to play a practical joke on an annoying freshman. Nothing dangerous, just a little shaving cream sprayed in his gym bag.
Correct answer: "Just say no." It might sound harmless, but it's still bullying. Cruelty has a way of twisting your character and coming back to haunt you - whether you believe in karma or not.
Contact Mark Kennedy at mkennedy@timesfreepress.com or 423-757-6645.