My wife was just offered a new position at work. Yay! We're so excited. But the offer required taking and passing a standardized test. We've been together since high school, and I know three things trigger her anxiety more than anything else: doctors, spiders and tests. When any of these three are a possibility, she can't sleep and loses her appetite. We've always known that this was an issue for her, but we work through it.
Her anxiety preceding these events had me curious. Is this normal? Is it a sign of something more? Is she OK? I get anxious about some things but not to this extent. So I did a little digging. In the process, I came across some interesting articles and research regarding anticipatory anxiety.
* What is anticipatory anxiety?
Anticipatory anxiety comes from fear or worries about things that could happen. It is a fear of situations, events or experiences that potentially lie ahead. Sometimes it stems from past experiences, but not always. My wife's anxiety with tests or spiders doesn't stem from past trauma. The anxiety with doctors? Now that's a different story.
Some symptoms may include hyperventilating, chest pain, difficulty concentrating and feeling apprehensive. It can also express itself in sleep issues, loss of appetite, emotional numbness and trouble managing emotions.
* Aren't we all a little anxious about the future?
It's normal to feel anxious about the future. Tests, moving, big trips, new jobs and major medical procedures are just a few examples of causes of anxiety. There's nothing unusual about being worried over these things, but there's a big difference between being worried and having anticipatory anxiety.
A 2015 study looked at the difference between phasic fear (fear that precedes a predictable threat) and anticipatory anxiety. Phasic fear lasts for a short time. On the other hand, anticipatory anxiety lasts longer and is a reaction to an unpredictable threat. Each of these activates different parts of the brain. The researchers found that we all experience different levels of anticipatory anxiety. Still, if you suffer from an anxiety disorder, anticipatory anxiety can go well beyond what most people experience. For those who suffer from panic disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder or a phobia, anticipatory anxiety can be life-limiting.
A March 2021 survey by the American Psychological Association found that 50% of participants reported feelings of anxiety in the current re-entry phase of the pandemic. We're all a little anxious right now as the world reopens and kids return to school (some for the first time since March 2020). We worry about a COVID recurrence or future pandemics.
* So how do we cope with anticipatory anxiety?
Anticipatory anxiety can put stress on personal relationships because you're distracted by what-ifs. It can be life-limiting as you try to avoid scenarios that cause your fear. But you can cope with anticipatory anxiety and work to overcome it. We can also help others cope by paying attention to their actions and emotions. If you feel that a loved one has anticipatory anxiety, you can encourage them to use the coping mechanisms listed below. You can help them by being a strong support system that offers love, grace, and encouragement.
COPING METHODS
Here are some methods to help you cope:
* Practice a relaxation response. Deep breathing, guided imagery or meditation are a few examples. Find a response that calms you.
* Self-talk. Talk to yourself like you would a friend who is having a similar experience. Self-compassion can make you more mindful and can motivate you to recognize and face your fears.
* Find a healthy distraction. Take a walk, listen to music, engage in your favorite hobby or exercise.
* Challenge your anxious thoughts. Ask yourself if you're being realistic. If you aren't, challenge those thoughts with realistic ones.
* Take action. Sometimes, the best solution is to confront whatever is making you anxious. This may mean taking small steps toward conquering your fears.
My wife faced her test anxiety. She studied diligently, and the kids and I cheered her on and offered words of support and encouragement. We created an environment at home to lessen her anxiety as the time got closer. Guess what? She passed! With that, the fear is gone, until the next test. But when it comes to spiders, we've got a long road ahead.
Overcoming anticipatory anxiety takes work. But reining in your fears will be beneficial for you and your family. Your anticipatory anxiety could be a sign of something else. If so, consult with a therapist or counselor for guidance.
Mitchell Qualls is the operations director and a content creator at family advocacy nonprofit First Things First. Email him at mitchell@firstthings.org.
Contributed Photo / Mitchell Qualls