Our 11-year-old son said one of his assignments in fifth grade last week was to write down three traits about a classmate.
"What did your person say about you," I asked.
"'Well, the person said I have good hair and that I'm funny and that I look nice," he said.
"OK," I said, with a satisfied smile. "Those three things alone will get you pretty far in life."
Mark Kennedy"Somebody else in my class got 'little ears,' 'good smile' and 'big toes.' Daddy, will those things get you pretty far in life, too?" he asked.
"Well, a good smile is a plus, but little ears and big toes are sort of neutral, unless you are a hobbit," I said.
"A what?" he said.
"Never mind."
The conversation put me on the path to thinking about what little things really do get you ahead in life. I don't mean the foundational character traits like honesty, loyalty and integrity. Or the biblical ones like love, faith and righteousness.
I'm thinking more about the second-tier personality traits that are more tactical than strategic. These are the tools - like politeness - that are available to anyone with a little effort.
I made a list. Here are seven things I think we should all teach our kids.
* Manners. A subset of politeness, when I think of manners, I think "thank you" notes. With text and email, this may be the easiest era in recorded history to send a quick thank-you message to anyone who has done you a kindness. In the business world, people who don't reach out and say thanks are increasingly thought of as not just forgetful but rude.
* Punctuality. It's getting harder and harder in today's world to justify being late. Calendars and alarms are built into all our digital devices. Barring emergency, being late is now a willful act of negligence. When I have a phone appointment, I try to call on the minute. People notice.
* Grooming. Show me a guy who has unkempt hair and sloppy clothes, and I'll show you a person who is undisciplined in other parts of his life, too. It doesn't make him a bad person, but it does flag him as someone who is more likely to blow a deadline or come up short on a work goal.
* Confidence. Often confused with bravado, confidence is actually a quiet attribute. Confident people are self-assured enough to stop talking once in a while and listen. A sign of confidence is that you learn to congratulate yourself for "not saying" something.
* Optimism. The glass half-empty or half-full metaphor is overworked, sure, but greeting the day with optimism is easily the most powerful predictor of adult success. In any group endeavor, persistent pessimism marks you as a nonentity. You may see yourself as a realist, but others probably won't be so charitable.
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* Humility. In a time when people are encouraged to promote their "personal brands," humility is an underdeveloped trait. The rise of social media doesn't help either, as it encourages posing. In the future, people who stay humble will be highly valued as co-workers and friends, while braggarts and social-media perfectionists will indeed by "branded" - but not in the way they envision.
* Reliability. I recently heard someone say that the best "ability" of all is "availability." This reminds me of the Woody Allen quote: "Showing up is 80 percent of success." Reticence and inertia are enemies of the modern world. More doing and less worrying is a prescription for success.
For my money, Nike's eight-letter motto, "Just do it," is the most brilliant corporate slogan ever penned.
Life, after all, is a call to action: Live. Laugh. Love. Learn.
Do as you will, young ones, but just do it.
Contact Mark Kennedy at mkennedy@timesfreepress.com.