Kennedy: 30 things to do before you turn 30

At age 29, Amy Donahue made a list of things to do before she turned 30.

Amy Donahue, 31, reached her late 20s with a gnawing sense of restlessness.

For most of the first three decades of her life, she said, goals were laid out like stepping stones: high school, college, graduate school, career, marriage.

But there comes a time in every adult life when you step off the stones and into the weeds.

At age 29, Donahue, director of marketing and communication at Chattanooga's River City Company, decided to draw up a list of 30 things to do before her 30th birthday: Imagine a bucket list - but without actually kicking the bucket.

There were some easy-to-do things on the list: drink Dom Perignon. And there were some hard-to-do things on the list: run a half marathon.

"[Turning 30] is a big milestone birthday," Donahue explained. "And I'm thinking, 'Amy, you've checked off these boxes, but there are these cool, crazy things that you haven't gotten to [do].' ... You have a big, open window of time between now and retirement, and you have to create your goals and paths."

These "cool, crazy things" included petting a penguin, riding in a hot air balloon and learning to knit socks. Check, check and check (although knitting those darned socks proved maddening, she said). "I had a wonderful friend would knew how to knit," Donahue said, "She would come over for wine-and-knitting night."

Some of the items on the "30 before 30" list were clearly designed as self-improvement goals. For example, running the 13-mile half marathon, which she accomplished in Nashville, and hiking 100 miles (in a year) were both aimed at improving her physical fitness.

Other goals, like No. 11 - "sing by myself in public" - were do-overs. Donahue said when she was 13 or 14 years old growing up in Jellico, Tennessee, she faltered while singing in a Christmas program and still feels the sting of harsh words she overheard after the performance. To redeem herself, she worked with a Chattanooga musician on a song arrangement and sang before a midday crowd gathered downtown.

Mark Kennedy

"I think it was a moment ... to regain something I used to find a lot of joy in," said Donahue, who sang in church and in her father's funeral home while growing up.

Other goals were designed to add life skills to her toolkit; thus, "change a tire" and "start a fire with flint" made the list. A few other items were designed as exercises in restraint: she went without a car for a week, for example, and swore off meat for a month. Travel-related goals sent her to Iceland and Napa Valley in California.

One of the unintended benefits of this process, Donahue said, is that she strengthened relationships and built a reputation as a pied piper of goal-setting. For example, she said her husband, Chance, hiked all 100 miles with her and a runner friend helped her train for the half marathon.

Meanwhile, since her success completing the list, others have sought her out to help them make lists of their own. Earlier this year, she taught a related class at The Chattery, a local nonprofit dedicated to adult learning.

A few hints Donahue is eager to pass along to would-be list makers:

» Give yourself a clear deadline, like a decade-ending birthday. "If you make a grandiose list and never give yourself a cutoff, it's not particularly motivating," she said.

» Share your list publicly to increase your accountability. There may be times you want to give up, but accountability may keep you on track.

» Avoid altering the list. Part of the challenge is gritting your teeth through the hard stuff.

» Mix in some easy goals. If everything on your list is difficult, Donahue said, "you won't have enough time, resources, brainpower or physical prowess to do all of them."

View other columns by Mark Kennedy

» Make your goals specific, not general. Then it's easier to know when you've completed your task.

"People are intrigued by the process," Donahue noted.

Would she do it again?

"I've already got some ideas for 40 before 40," she said confidently. "[Doing this] once a decade is probably a good goal."

To suggest a human interest topic for Life Stories contact Mark Kennedy at mkennedy@timesfreepress.com or 423-757-6645.