President Trump went on TV last Sunday to announce that he had OK'd the mission for U.S. Special Forces to go into Syria and kill top ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi. CNN and MSNBC felt they had to cover the story, so they reported that Trump killed an unarmed Muslim and his three children.
This followed the recent killing of the son of Osama bin Laden, who had taken over as head of his dad's al-Qaeda. It was a good move because it helped crush stereotypes that taking over a family business is just a Jewish thing. Like his father, Hamza bin Laden was killed by Navy Seals. He was laid to rest beside his dad in the family ocean.
Seven trillion dollars into the "War on Terror," can we now stop putting troops over there, and can we be allowed not to be humiliated by the unwieldy and unaccountable behemoth, TSA, every time we fly? At least let us keep our shoes on. I think you have enough four-ounce shampoos by now, TSA.
We have not gotten a bill or any accountability for the trillions we spent in Iraq, or learned what we got for our money. Ditto for Afghanistan. We did find bin Laden and al-Baghdadi after 15 years: They were in their houses. Let's replicate Vietnam, call it a win and let free markets sprout; in 10 years we will be buying clothing and Dollar Store products from them.
I would like to appoint a commission to look into both wars. We need someone who is used to violence and doling out unaccountable large sums of money, perhaps NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. I suggest he impose a penalty on Washington, D.C., of a one-war suspension and loss of the draft.
This is not to detract from the heroics of our Special Forces and Navy Seals. I would like to buy them all a drink, perhaps one named for them called "the bin Laden." It's three shots and a splash.
Unlike Obama, who took the Nobel Peace prize he got as an insult and further entangled us in more and longer wars (and drone strikes), Trump to his credit seems intent on extricating us from these hellholes. Even in pulling us out of Syria, he cut a deal of mutual interest with Russia, Turkey, the Kurds and Assad to be allowed into northern Syria to kill al-Baghdadi. Talk about your "Art of the Deal."
No doubt ISIS and al-Qaeda leaders are awful human beings. Can you imagine waking up every day hating your enemies so badly that you spend your entire time trying to kill them or ruin their lives and not doing anything else? Or, as we know those folks in America, House Democrats.
Speaking of which, Adam "Shifty" Schiff and "Nanny State" Pelosi are miffed Trump did not tell them of raid. Never mind that their Intel Committee never meets on intelligence issues anymore, just on this impeachment farce. And given their great sources, wouldn't you expect Schiff's "whistleblower" to have fully and accurately filled them in?
Now with al-Baghdadi gone, ISIS will start a search for a new leader. Maybe it bring someone up through accounting to run the spot. I can see the board's search committee interviewing jihadi candidates for the job: "Tell us about your vision for ISIS and yourself, and specifically, in four years, where do you see yourself exploding?"
On Trump's watch, we have gone harder after ISIS and al-Qaeda, with more sensible rules of engagement than Obama forced on our soldiers. And ISIS' recruitment is down. It is hard to promise 72 virgins in heaven; since Hugh Hefner checked in this year, there might not be that many anymore.
There is room for Trump to strike an understanding with jihadis now. Like the bin Laden raid, our forces took a lot of al-Baghdadi's personal items to learn more about his operation. We found out that bin Laden dyed his hair, liked women fighting over him, watched a lot of porn, used Viagra and smoked weed. So peace may be easy, since what we have in common is much stronger than what divides us.
Contact Ron Hart, a syndicated op-ed humorist and author at Ron@RonaldHart.com.