OK, we're officially at the place where every name that starts trending on Twitter elicits the same response: "Do they have the Corona?"
On Friday, Richard Dawson was trending.
Then I remembered he was dead, and has been for almost a decade. So, why was the former host of the original run of the "Family Feud" trending eight years after dying?
Because, whether it's the boredom of our shut-in reality or the vacuum of outrage for the internet morality mob, Dawson's name was being vilified because he famously kissed all of the female contestants on the "Family Feud" in the late 1970s and early 1980s.
Yes, seriously. And yes, I wish I made that up.
OK, just because someone has a Dr. in front of their name and is comfortable on TV does not mean we need to point a TV camera at them and certify them as experts.
Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz are the latest two docs in our TV box to step on their stethoscopes lately.
Dr. Phil, the TV host known for asking troubled guests, "How's that working for you?" has come under fire for comparing coronavirus deaths to car wrecks and pool drownings with terribly incongruent numbers.
Dr. Oz then asked him to hold his beer and said going back to school will mean losing "only 2 to 3 percent" of the students. Seriously, and believe it or not he actually has four children.
What, was Dr. J unavailable? What about someone from Dr. Seuss's office?
Get Dr. Dre on the phone, stat.
A couple of cool ones
Olive Veronesi is the 93-year-old Pennsylvania woman who became a viral sensation when during quarantine she held a Coors Light in one hand and a sign that read "I NEED MORE BEER!!" in the other.
The photo has been shared more than 5 million times, and Molson Coors sent her 150 beers to replenish her supply.
"I was on my last 12 cans, I have a beer every night," Veronesi told KDKA in Pittsburgh. "You know what, beer has vitamins in it, it's good for you, as long as you don't overdo it."
Well, in the giving spirit, Busch beer is taking entries for any couple who had to cancel their wedding because of the COVID-19 to get free beer for a year.
And considering this quarantine, with no set end in sight, a year of free beer is a very thoughtful (non) wedding gift.
OK, we have a lot of suffering around us, be it the coronavirus or the aftermath from the Easter tornadoes.
Well, in these times of struggle, Saturday's star deserves a major league ovation.
Micah Beardsly, according to the Happinest Wildlife Rehabilitation & Rescue, made a grand gesture. From the group's Facebook page on Thursday morning:
"Yesterday we received the most heartfelt donation that brought me to tears. Micah Beardsly has been saving his allowance money towards a vacation. He told his mom, Heather, it wa s more important to save wildlife hurt in the tornado than to go on a vacation, so he donated his entire piggy bank. Micah's love for wildlife is unique for a kid his age. He's a avid birder and can name all the species of fish. His family attended a public release we held at @vwchattanooga wetlands in July 2018, and Micah noticed a northern flicker in our carrier. He said the northern flicker was his favorite bird, so we gave him the honor of releasing the flicker that day. It was beautiful seeing the excitement on his face! Thank you, Micah. Your donation touched us, and I know sharing your story will touch others."
Well done, Micah.
William Horton would have been 99 in October. He died Monday.
He fought in Europe during World War II. He also hiked the old Boy Scout Trail on Lookout Mountain at the tender age of 77.
Imagine being a boy and a teenager during the Great Depression. Heck, imagine the daily and long-term life changes Horton experienced.
Rest easy, sir, and say hello to Betty Jo, his wife of 58 years who preceded him in death.
Contact Jay Greeson at email@example.com and follow him on Twitter at @jgreesontfp.