While we are in the realm of surreal things of 2020, Colonel Sanders, sex symbol, has to be high on the list.
I'm not sure there are words for this mini-movie/commercial, but picture this.
Take A.C. Slater (Mario Lopez) from "Saved By the Bell." Add in some corporate sponsorship. A couple of easy-on-the-eyes actresses, and voila, you have a steamy holiday movie script.
Now for the kicker: Lopez will play a young Colonel Sanders - yes, that Colonel Sanders of Kentucky Fried Chicken fame - and make it a sultry love story.
As for the title, yeah, let's go with "A Recipe for Seduction."
What's next, Ronald McDonald sharing the sordid tell-all details about how the Big Mac got its name? Or maybe the love story behind the Happy Meal?
Bright idea
So late last month, a driver in Washington state was pulled over for having dim headlights.
Upon further examination the vehicle's headlights were damaged and not working at all. So the driver duct-taped flashlights to the front of his car to replace the broken lights.
A police spokesman told CNN that the driver was also driving on a suspended license.
Sounds like the license may be the least of that dude's shortcomings.
A final prayer
There are a lot of businesses that have been devastated by COVID-19 restrictions.
The 400 Rabbits tequila bar in Nottingham, England, like other taverns in the area, has been closed by local authorities. Well, management applied to the local registrar general, according to The Guardian, to be declared a place of worship.
That's right, and if granted, the Church of the 400 Rabbits would be allowed to have customers/worshippers come back to the establishment.
Talk about your Holy spirits, because that's some tequila that would really bring people to their knees.
A much-needed break
Normally a snow day would come with celebrations from kids. Not so much anymore. With online learning now common, the prospect of snow days seems slim.
It's therefore not surprising that a West Virginia school superintendent's announcement of a recent snow day went viral. The superintendent urged students to "Go build a snowman" - an unexpected but welcome break, especially for our school kids, who are trying to learn amid unbelievably challenging situations.
When the winter white blanket covered her district, Bondy Shay Gibson sent an email to the families of the 9,000-plus students in her district imploring them to make the most of the day and the snow, despite the ever-expanding ability for all of us to work and learn remotely.
"It has been a year of seemingly endless loss and the stress of trying to make up for that loss," Gibson wrote. "For just a moment, we can all let go of the worry of making up for the many things we missed by making sure this is one thing our kids won't lose this year."
Amen, and well done.
Obit observations
I know a lot of you comb through the obituaries. For a lot of us, not being mentioned in the obits is the best way to start the day.
Some of you take the time to point out some of your favorites. Today's - from Bill Moore in North Georgia - is no exception.
It's the notice of Robert Clinton Campbell Sr., who died Dec. 10 at the age of 83.
In addition to his decades in the Air Force and his sprawling family that extended to eight great-grandchildren, the wit in his notice certainly makes you believe his was a life lived in grand spirit.
Among the things he enjoyed, according to the obit, were "traveling with his wife to Hawaii, eating steaks in casinos, telling inappropriate jokes to beautiful women, religiously watching Rachel Maddow, and teaching important life lessons to his grandchildren, such as accepting the genetic tendency to drop food on your shirt, that sweatpants and T-shirts are perfectly acceptable daywear options, and that Campbells do not marry Republicans."
And he also enjoyed "country music (Dolly Parton, for two very big reasons). In the interest of common decency, the family has chosen to censor his more risqué stories at this time."
Rest easy Robert, and here's betting the angels are laughing right along with you.
Contact Jay Greeson at jgreeson@timesfreepress.com.
Jay Greeson