CAPE SAND BLAS, Fla. — Day 2, and wow, Monday was a Chamber of Commerce day weather-wise. In fact, most of the 5-at-10 clan got at least some sun-burning, other than Momma 5-at-10, which allowed for much sunscreen lecturing and posturing.
So it goes friends, and remember, sun screen is your friend.I am writing this on Monday night, a 5-at-10 rarity, but what are we really missing? The Braves can't Jacob deGrom because, well, no one can hit Jacob deGrom.
Side note: I greatly enjoyed listening to Elle Duncan and Jason Fitz this morning, I think Elle is under-used and uber-talented. She is funny, and mixes clever with self-deprecating in a way that is perfect for radio.
Today will be the utmost rarity for 5-at-10ers too. No it's not that we are having aMajors at the least Major Major this side of Major Frank Burns Contest for this week's PGA Championship.
It's that for the first time in the history of this platform, I am giving a segment, a passage to someone else. The first installment of today's 5-at-10 will be by the Princess 5-at-10, my 10-year-old daughter Madeline Ray, who has sun-burnt cheeks and a sassy approach that would make Rhoda proud. (Yes, that was an old-school old guy reference for Spy and Chas. For the rest of us under the age of Roman Numerals CXXIV, she's sassy like Arya Stark, without the murder and stuff.)
So, with that in mind, from the satellite studios from the Gulf and the knowledge that when most of you are reading this, the 5-at-10s will be charter fishing for our supper, let's do this.
Ghost writer from a Mini-5-at-10
Hello my name is Madeline Ray, but most people call me Ray or Ray Ray. I thought I would tell you my favorite sports memory that I did when I played baseball.
My favorite memory is when my All-Star team went to a Lookouts game.
When we got there we all sat together, and we watched the baseball game.
Later we got sodas, snacks, and everything. Then my team and I went on to the field and went to the positions that we played on our team. (Editor/Dad note: They were on the field before the game for the National Anthem. Yes, no one kneeled.)
I played pitcher. The Lookouts won.
Holy what just happened, Batman?
OK, we offer this with the most silver of linings. It probably will not matter in the grand scheme of things because baseball will not finish because Rob Manfred is the Michael Scott of sports commissioners, but Holy Schnikes, Mike Soroka tearing his Achilles is the worst thing Atlanta folks have heard since Bill Sherman was plowing through Cherokee County. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ig4jbcU9db0
Now, Alex Anthopoulos is left with his offseason moves of rolling the dice with veteran scratch-off options Felix Hernandez and Cole Hamles outside the picture of useless and his 23-year-old, four-plus-pitches ace has a torn Achilles.
Do you deal, overpay for a short-contract ace without any security that the season will last beyond the Sunday after this one? Do you roll the dice with a young, high-upside, kinda fringe No. 2 like Max Fried as your bona fide ace?
Like the options in this time of the Corona, there are not right solutions, only finding the best bad answer that is somewhat doable.
Contests, who ya got?
We got a golf major this weekend friends. Repeat.
A. Golf. Major.
Of course we are going to contest this puppy up. And hey, no lunch — God knows when the next folks can swing buy B-Dubs for a plate — this one will be straight Visa gift cards.
And I'll push the chips in too, friends. (Heck, I'll even see if the TFP can extend your subscription.)
Winner gets a $50 gift card. As Bluto says, "Who's with me? Let's go."
The rules are familiar: Pick five golfers and your four best finishers count. Where they finish counts as the points and the lowest score wins.
For example, if you get the winner, two players tied for third and the dude in sixth — hopefully not Charl Schwartzel — that is 13 points (1+3+3+6) and you are going to cruise.
As always, the cost is nada, so, again, listen to Bluto.
Again, who's with me?
Put your five golfers in the comments or email me at email@example.com.
This and that
— The Rock is part of a group buying the XFL. Heck, considering his bankroll and the upside of a spring football league considering the shaky future of team sports in general during the COVID and whether college players are going to be content working for Pscyh 102 credit and free books, it seems like a decent gamble, no?
— Count me among the folks who believe Neal Pinkston is among the Hamilton County public servants who are in it for the right reasons. His name was in this story about the level-five Twister of a dust-up between Tom Decosimo and Marco Perez for the District 2 school board seat in Hamilton County. I know this, and I agree with Pinkston: I want every bit of info from every candidate that is running for office — partisan or not. I appreciate Tom Decosimo sharing what he believes and truth be told, fiscal accountability should be viewed as strength among our ever-left-leaning school board rubber-stampers in my opinion.
— So Sheriff Jim Hammond does not believe he should wear a mask at a political rally. I could throw a ton of shade that Jim Hammond is on the wrong side of history for supporting the wrong horse in that Senate race. Dr. Manny Sethi is the real deal friends. A candidate who will be among the next level of national leaders if given the chance. But, hey Sheriff Hammond, uh, isn't Mayor Coppinger like your boss? And don't you live in Hamilton County? So shouldn't you, like, do what your boss requires everyone in Hamilton County to do? We'll wait.
— Among the many great coworkers I have at the TFP, Super Dave Flessner the TFP business whiz, is chief among them. I have not had time to research it while we are splashing around the Emerald Coast, but I trust Super Dave fully to make heads or tails of President Trump getting cross with TVA.
— Speaking of TFP business gurus, here's the Silver Fox Mike Pare with a timely update on TopGolf in East Ridge opening Friday. We may need to schedule a field trip out there, you know, when school actually convenes full-time and stuff like field trips happen again. Let's reconnect around 2022, OK?
— In one of the very purest forms of normalcy I can possibly experience — and with full knowledge and admittance that it may last about as long as I'm on the Gulf — TFP sports editor and high school sports guru Stephe Hargis going on his prep football tour is a rite of passage that I hope never ends. Here is Monday's poignant story of his travels. This is why local journalism — filled with local stories of local people for local readers — can never die friends. This right here. Well done Stephen.
True or false on a Tuesday. I say true.
True or false, during pregnancy Dads pray for boys but eventually thank God for little girls.
True or false, Tiger Woods will finish top 10 this week at Winged Foot.
True or false, Winged Foot is a great name for a championship-level golf course.True or false, if Mickelson is coming down the stretch in contention you will cheer for him. (Follow up: True or false, you will cheer against him.)
As for today, well, let's review. Barack Obama is 59 today. So there's that. Man, the varying viewpoints on Barack's speech at John Lewis' funeral in my email would curl your hair. And rest assured we will have hate mail on Friday. When you make fun of Democrats and Trump in the same Saturday A2 column, well buckle-up Buttercup.
Also on this day Billy Bob Thornton turns 65.
Let's offer this — True or false, Billy Bob is underrated — and the Rushmore of Billy Bob vehicles. Go and remember the PGA contest.