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From JL

Heard you talking on Press Row about fantasy football. Do you play? Do you have any advice? Why don't you guys have more fantasy segments on the show or a fantasy thing in the 5-at-10?

JL

I do play. Not sure if my advice would be all that good to be honest.

The two things I would definitely say: "Know your league's rules and scoring" and "Put value on touches." The first one is clear, because if you are not aware of the details, you will be dusted. The second means guys who get more chances will always get more points, regardless of how much you think Leonard Fournette SHOULD be getting the ball, if the Bucs are going to use Ronald Jones, then he forever will be more valuable.

As for more fantasy segments on the radio, well, fantasy talk is pretty self-indulgent and it's like vacation films or pictures of your kids' first day of kindergarten.

Yes, you are keenly interested in your fantasy team. I am keenly interested in mine.

But not real sure others are interested in other people's teams, you know?

As for advice, there are a lot of avenues out there and the XM radio fantasy channel — I think it is channel 87 — is excellent.

Also, I think Tom Brady is going to be a real MVP candidate that will be a steal in late rounds.

 

From Joe Don

JG:
 
So the ACC approved fake noise for football games, with caveats, of course.
 
But If Jay Greeson was running the sound board at a college football game, what sound effects, song snippets or movie quotes would YOU LIKE to use probably knowing you'd be relieved of your duties quicker than you can say 2-Minute Warning.
 
Examples: Jeopardy theme during the opposing team's time-out. "Noonan!" right before the opposing place kicker attempts the game-winning field goal. The Blazing Saddles flatulence scene when the team is in its huddle
 
You get the idea.

Joe Don—

Such an excellent question, and yes, my tenor would be short-lived, not unlike the two dudes in Tuscaloosa 10 years ago who played "Son of a Preacher Man" and "Take the Money and Run" as Cam Newton was warming up before the 2010 Iron Bowl.

(Side note: If Cam really did get $180,000 to come to Auburn for one season, it as a) the best six-figure investment in sports history since the Yankees paid Boston $100,000 for some fellow named Ruth, and b) if the pandemic hits and Auburn needs to pass the hat to cover any back payments to Cam or Cecil or Sit Isaac or even Fig Newton, give me a call. I'm not good for the whole enchilada but I'll gladly kick in for that.)

As for Joe Don's question, the first thought I had was the former Southern League hitter Corey Hart, who made the show with the Brewers, and how he came to the plate at AT&T, friend of the show John Maedel would play "Sunglasses at Night" which was sung by another Corey Hart.

(Side note, part II: I'm pretty sure Hart hated that other Hart and especially that song.)

Also, this is part of Ron's day job, so he could speak more to the rules and regulations of what is allowed.

But for me, and crossing the streams of movie clips and sports situations, well, that's in my wheelhouse too. (Side note, part III: I'm sure John and Ron would both readily agree that I would not have a lengthy career in that regulated role.)

There are so many that we could pull from some of the renowned classics that we all love. So I'm starting with a "no more than one per movie" guideline.
And while your Caddyshack one is good, or if you had a running back like a Billy Simms, the Judge going "Oh Billy, Billy, Billy" would be great — As would a shanked kick getting the "Where did it go?" "Right in the Lumber Yard." as well as "That's a peach hun" — I will go here: Teams get into a brawl, and after cooler heads prevail, the "What's that sign say" clip.  

think the Best in Show clip when judge Edie Franklin goes in depth would be an option for when needed.

Again, too many from Raising Arizona to even start, but I'd partial to an interception — or a steal in basketball — hitting the "I'll be taking these Huggies and whatever cash you got."

It may not be the most memorable from Fast Times, but if we're playing Clemson, and when Trevor Lawrence comes on the field, the great line about Jefferson "He really lives here I thought he just flew in for games."

There's the judge in the Billy Madison in the academic bowl after an official explains a call, "what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul." Or if you don't like the refs explanation, the gibberish clip from Steve Carell in Bruce Almighty. (There's also the "Kelly Clarkson!" clip from Carell in "40 Year Old Virgin" too.)

In times of celebrating, the Frank the Tank "Streaking" line in Old School would be an option.

I'd have to find a way to bleep the language, but a big hit over the middle, Friday's "You got knocked the (BLEEP) out!" from Smokey.

Anyone steps and falls, the "That first step is a doozy" from Ned Ryerson in "Ground Hog Day. Ned is a wicked underrated character friends.

Not unlike Caddyshack, Animal House, Anchorman, Dodgeball and Bull Durham simply have fair too many to name one.

There are a lot that simply can't be done because of changing times — think about the greatness of the Airplane scene of June Cleaver telling the stewardess "I speak jive" or Tommy Boy Callahan doing the "Fat Guy in a little coat" or the Blazing Saddles, "Hey where the white women at?" and many more — these days.

Wow, Joe Don, great question, and yes, I spent entirely too much time on this one. And yes, my future in that role simply does not seem doable.

 

From Pat

How much of a dude is Lamont Paris? It would be great if he could coach the Mocs for a long time. But that would be a great disservice to him. Unless he just really loves it.

Is the most underrated acquisition of the baseball offseason Marcell Ozuna?

Pat—

Great point of Lamont Paris, the UTC basketball coach who has become a true friend of Press Row. Dude is aces, and I wish he would coach the Mocs for the next two decades, but that's never really an option, unless he falls in love with Chattanooga as a whole.

Because the truth at this level is, either you win and move on to more coin and bigger places or you lose and you get moved along. Here was Lamont on Press Row earlier this week.


And truly great observation of Ozuna, who is making himself a ton of coin. In 133 at-bats, he's hitting .301 with 12 homers and 31 RBIs with an eye-popping 1.014. If you give him 600 at-bats (133 times 4.5 is right there), that's a crazy projection of .301-54-140.

Plus, he's only 30 and has a Gold Glove on his résumé.

Dude is about to get paid.

 

From Roma

Is there a reason I'm not finding more NBA coverage?

Roma

I can't speak for the paper per se, but in truth, the NBA playoffs have not caught my eye as much as I had thought.

Maybe that's because it's the early rounds. Maybe it's because of the lateness of LeBron starts. (I am quick to admit that I'm not that much of an NBA fan, but I greatly enjoy watching LeBron play.)

As for the radio show, NBA talk comes up occasionally, but the direction and momentum of Press Row is more times than not organic and unplanned. Sure David Paschall has the "Yellow Pad of Knowledge" but beyond that it's amazing to me how unrehearsed our show is.

It's the secret sauce and at times a shortcoming simultaneously in a lot of ways. But hey, like Popeye famously would say, "We are what we are."

As for the other stuff, I wonder how many people are turning off the playoffs because of the social commentary and the rest. I'm not sure. Yes, the TV ratings are being tased around, but the metrics and the context of that are important, because a lot of the early-round playoff games have been at 3 p.m. in the afternoon, which is far from a dream spot for ratings.

As we get to fewer teams and games with more meaning — which will come against some high-level football competition too — will the ratings and interest increase? Not sure.

 

This week's Rushmores


Rushmore of Pop (had to split this into two, people and non-people) — Pop Greeson far left (hey my Rushmore), Soda Pop Curtis from The Outsiders, Pop Fisher from The Natural, Pop Warner (Yes, Gregg 'Pop' Popovich is a Hall of Fame coach, but he seems too curiously happy coming across as a rotten human being for my liking); Pop-up Videos, Pop as in the drink, movie theater popcorn, Pop Goes the Weasel.


Rushmore of Keanu Reeves movies — The Matrix, Point Break, The Replacements, Speed. He was excellent in the underrated Parenthood, but he's turn as Tod was a side role. Side note: Dude has made serious cash money as an actor. In The Matrix series alone, Reeves made $40,000,000 in cash and had percentages of the gross that paid him 10 percent of the first movie ($46.3 million) and 15 percent on the second and third installments ($110.9 million and $64.1 million). That's a quarter of a billion dollars for his work as Neo.

Rushmore of Phil/Phillip, with a special shoutout to recording artist and former American Idol winner Phillip Phillips and another split in the non-sports and sports (hey, we're trying to stick to sports, kinda when it suits) — Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Phillips Head Screwdriver, Phil Collins, Phil Donahue (with apologies to personal fav Phil Hartman); in the sports world, we'll go Mickelson, Niekro, Bum Phillips and Phil Knight (Sorry Phil Simms and Coach Fulmer, but Bum was Bum and Knight owns Nike, which has changed sports as much as any non-TV company over the last 35 years).

Rushmore of Richard Gere movies — Officer and a Gentleman, American Gigolo, Pretty Woman, Looking fo Mr. Goodbar (visor tip to Ron for a needed reminder).

Have a great weekend friends.

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Jay Greeson
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