It was a beautiful spring day in Atlanta. Kids were bobbing for murder weapons in the lake at Piedmont Park. Atlanta’s new tourism slogan: “Come for the strip joints; stay to fill out the police reports.”
Suddenly, the news hit. Because of whimpering leftist comments by the leadership of Delta Air Lines and the new “woke” Coke about Georgia requiring citizens to show a valid ID to vote, Major League Baseball pulled the All-Star Game from Georgia.
You have to show an ID to enter Delta and Coke headquarters buildings and shareholder meetings. You have to show an ID at the will-call window to get your baseball ticket. But they think they know what is better for Georgia than the state’s elected representatives do. Delta needs to spend less time trying to overturn the sensible voting laws of elected representatives and more time not losing my luggage.
You will remember that the new “woke” Coca-Cola, run now by sharp-elbowed, cowardly, corporate weasels, recently instructed employees to be less white. Coke now differs from Pepsi, whose spokesman, Michael Jackson, slowly turned white over time.
Instead of Atlanta, the All-Star Game will be moved to Coors Field in Denver. Coors is the light beer we always used to want in college because we couldn’t get it. Now it is considered a weak, low-end beer no one wants. It is the official beer of child custody hearings.