Something the character John Dutton said in a recent episode of the TV series "Yellowstone" struck me.
Talking to a cowboy friend -- while they were both settling in to sleep under the stars during a cattle drive -- the Montana ranch owner mused, "I've come to believe that perfection only lives in little moments. Can't be sustained over hours, just instances, little wisps of time and the world becomes imperfect again."
For me, those "little wisps of time" include the few nights a year when I lay my head on a pillow knowing that our whole family is again under the same roof. The sense of satisfaction warms me. At least for a few hours I know everyone is safe and accounted for.
Our older son, who is now a junior in college, should be home for the holidays sometime Sunday.
He called me last week to let me know his arrival would be delayed a couple of days because of a freelance photography gig he had Saturday night in Birmingham, where he attends college. I appreciated the call. Of all the things I'm looking forward to this Christmas, his visit is No. 1.
As your adult children get older, planning around the short stretches when they will be home takes on urgency. I'm taking vacation time Christmas week, in part, to spend more hours with him.
I've written before about how much I ached when he went off to college in 2020. He's still close enough to visit but far enough away to feel independent. He was away from late August until Thanksgiving this year. During that three-month span he turned 21, which was another milestone in his journey to full-fledged adulthood.
I've been thinking a lot lately about how to keep a strong relationship with our two sons, who are 21 and 16. Mostly I think about honoring their boundaries, while still being on standby if they need me.
Two articles I read last week reminded me that when it comes to adult children, there's often a fork in the road.
Consider: According to Pew Research, about one-third of young adults ages 25 to 34 live with their parents. Uncertain economic times and inflation (especially for housing costs) no doubt contribute to this phenomenon.
On the other hand, about 1 in 4 adults are completely estranged from their parents, according to the Los Angeles Times. That's a number that would chill most of the parents I know.
That leaves a middle group who presumably don't live at home and don't shun their parents.
Every family's circumstances are different, and people generally do the best they can. I remember myself at 25 and how little it would have taken to drive me away from my parents.
Meanwhile, as parents, our duty is to love, while learning to let go.
The late Washington Post columnist Michael Gerson, who died last month at age 58, wrote a column in 2013 about his son leaving for college.
Someone sent me a copy last month as a reminder of Gerson's great eloquence.
I end today with his words.
Gerson said: "Parenthood offers many lessons in patience and sacrifice. But ultimately, it is a lesson in humility. The very best thing about your life is a short stage in someone else's story. And it is enough."
Contact Mark Kennedy at 423-757-6645 or mkennedy@timesfreepress.com.