5-at-10: Friday mailbag with college coaches as Thanksgiving dishes, Godfather or Goodfellas and more

AP photo by John Bazemore / Atlanta Falcons coach Arthur Smith, right, speaks to quarterback Taylor Heinicke, left, before last Sunday's home game against the Minnesota Vikings.
AP photo by John Bazemore / Atlanta Falcons coach Arthur Smith, right, speaks to quarterback Taylor Heinicke, left, before last Sunday's home game against the Minnesota Vikings.


Let's handle our business.

Like every tourist in South Dakota, let's go to the Rushmore.

Rushmore of Sally Field movies -- "Smokey and the Bandit" is a clear far left, "Places in the Heart" (bring a Kleenex), "Steel Magnolias" (bring a box of Kleenex) and "Norma Rae" and yes that is leaving out "Forrest Gump," which I believe to be overrated, no matter how much Momma Gump valued lil' Forrest's education.

Rushmore of MLB brothers -- Paul and Lloyd Waner, Roberto Jr. and Sandy Alomar, Pedro and Ramon Martinez and the DiMaggios. Side note: Do you think those siblings dads coached them in rec ball, and if not, how crazed was the fight to get the No. 1 pick so you could take the best player in the league and be linked to the second-best player in the league by family? Discuss.

(Side note: Visor tip to Loftis, who handed your favorite middle school girls' hoops squad a double-digit defeat. We have lots to work on for sure.)

Rushmore of movie cowboys since 1990 -- Val Kilmer as Doc Holiday, Clint Eastwood as William Munny, Jamie Foxx as Django, and Woody from "Toy Story."

Rushmore of "Art" -- Art Garfunkel, Art Monk, Art Linkletter, Art Still. And yes, I asked you to be creative, and many of you folks were. This could have a multitude of answers, but like so many things, Art is in the eye of the beholder.

And of course, Paschall has something in today's fishwrapper, and you know the rules. Here's his take on a Vols player looking to maximize his lengthy college career.

And yes, it's in the rules, but man, what a great job by TFP sports editor Stephen Hargis on an in-depth look at Boo Carter, who may be the most high-profile high school football player from this area since Gerald Riggs Jr.

To the bag.

From a whole lot of you

We're "Not going to talk about the Fight Club."

Gang,

Rule 1 of Fight Club is we're not going to talk about Fight Club.

This has become the mantra in our gambling conversations of late, but we won't discuss the results because ...

Rule 2 of Fight Club is WE DON'T TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB. (And if you are interested you can sign up above.)

That said, how underrated is the move "Fight Club" because it is truly great, right? And how big of a pill must Ed Norton be because he is a wonderful actor -- name a movie you did not like that Ed Norton was in? -- and he works very rarely?

Is "Fight Club" on Brad Pitt's Rushmore, because that Rushmore starts with "Legends of the Fall," right?

Discuss.

From JoeDon

JG,

Thanksgiving was meant for the 3 F's -- Family, Football and Food. As we're creeping up on Turkey Day, it seemed appropriate to combine football and food. Let's associate each traditional Thanksgiving dish with its appropriate college football team and/or coach. Here's my list. How about yours? And Happy (early) Thanksgiving.

Turkey — The main dish. The center of the universe. (Sort of like Lord Saban and the Crimson Tide.)

Ham — That "other" main dish. Trying hard but better suited at Christmas. (Sort of like Texas and Steve Sarkisian.)

Dressing — An underlying accompaniment, but the meal is never complete without it. (Sort of like Ryan Day and the Buckeyes.)

Sweet potato casserole — Always welcome and often showcasing different adornments. (Sort of like Oregon and coach Dan Lanning.)

Green Beans — A staple side dish. Always dependable. (Sort of like Marcus Freeman and the Irish.)

Mashed potatoes — Goes great with anything, anytime, anywhere. (Sort of like Brent Venables and the Sooners.)

Dinner rolls — Yes please. And maybe more than one. (Sort of like the FSU Seminoles and Mike Norvell.)

Gravy — Seems to find its way into every crevice but otherwise it would be a dry meal. (Sort of like Lincoln Riley and the Trojans.)

Cranberry sauce — Annoying and somewhat sour. (Sort of like Jim Harbaugh and the Wolverines.)

Pumpkin pie — Seasonal and not many friends. (Sort of like Coach Prime and Buffaloes.)

pe-CON pie — This one has to be above the Mason-Dixon Line but it's not as good as its cousin (below). (Sort of like Kalen DeBoer and the Washington Huskies.)

PEE-can pie — This one has to be from the South and can't get enough of it. (Sort of like Josh Heupel and the Vols.)

Sweet tea — Like those dinner rolls ... anywhere, anytime, always a winner. (Sort of like Kirby Smart and the Bulldogs.)

Water — Bland. Blech! (Sort of like James Franklin and the Nittany Lions.)

Joe Don,

Well done. Man, I love Fridays when you guys do the work for me.

Who wants to quibble with JoeDon's list?

I will say mashed potatoes is too lofty for Oklahoma, but will counter that cranberry sauce is perfect for Michigan, especially right now.

Excellent email.

From Brian

How was Arthur Smith not fired on Monday?

Brian,

That question is completely valid. And in most scenarios, firing a coach midseason has some value in terms of sending a message to the locker room and the staff and being on the front end of your next coaching search.

But there are two things in play about normal early firing in my mind.

First, and this directly applies to the Falcons — and I agree I think Arthur Smith is in the HUGE team picture of great coordinators who are not HC (Hi, Dan Quinn) — losing without a true QB1 is not a terrible thing. And no, Taylor Heinicke nor Desmond Ridder are not QB1s.

Second, why fire any HC now if there is a real chance that Coach Hoodie — that being ticked off and motivated Bill Belichick — is on the market in the next couple months?

That said, can the falcons please throw the ball to Kyle Pitts 10 times a game? He's Brock Bowers but on Sundays and his underuse is criminal.

From Spy

Godfather > Goodfellas.

Besides, there are two big inconsistencies with "Goodfellas." One, where Jimmy tells Henry they're not going to kill Morris and Henry goes "he has no idea how close he came to dying that night," only for Morris to get the icepick in the back of the head in the next scene.

And B, when Henry and Karen go shopping, pull right up in front of the store (like nobody in Long Island is not gonna say nothin' about that?) and then come out with nothing. Some shopping.

Spy,

As always, you are supremely wise.

Side question: Which character is more loathable, Connie Corleone or Karen Hill?

Discuss, and remember, we do not talk about Fight Club.

Have a great weekend, friends.


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