Let's handle our business.
First, thanks for all the well wishes and kind words about the 5-at-10's birthday earlier this week. As tribute, here's another Mrs. 5-at-10 photo she snapped walking in the woods the other day.
Rushmore of musical Keiths -- Keith Richards, Keith Moon, Keith Whitley (and here's "Tell Lorrie I Loved Her," the tear-jerker I mentioned earlier this week) and Keith Urban, who is a great guitarist, even if he's not my cup of tea.
Rushmore of TV stars who had leads in the best two-comedy pairing -- Bob Newhart ("The Bob Newhart Show" and "Newhart"), Julia Louis Dreyfus ("Seinfeld" and "Veep"), Mary Tyler Moore ("The Dick Van Dyke Show" and "The Mary Tyler Moore Show") and Ron Howard ("The Andy Griffith Show" and "Happy Days"). And yes this one was tough.
Rushmore of Dusty -- Baker, Rhodes, "It's dusty in here" and the classic turn of Chevy Chase as Dusty Bottoms in "Three Amigos," which included this classic scene. "Lip balm?"
Rushmore of Ryan -- Nolan Ryan, "Saving Private Ryan," Ryan Reynolds (dude has a Jeter-esque dating history, and "Free Guy" was aces) and Ryan's Steakhouse, which has an approval rating of over 90% among men in the South and a rating closer to 9% from their wives. With a visor tip to "Top Gun" Meg Ryan, "Goose, you big stud" as well as the deli scene in "When Harry Met Sally."
As for the rules, here's Paschall on UT exploring the Philly Tush Push on short-yardage situations.
To the bag.
From Keystone Transplant
Jay,
I have read your column for years and enjoy it even if you are an SEC homer.
This is my first mailbag question, and I hope it makes it because I am really perplexed by this Michigan-NCAA deal and want your thoughts as an SEC guy.
Why is everyone making such a big deal out of this Michigan thing? Stealing signs is as old as sports itself.
I think it's because the arrogant SEC people are (ticked) off because Michigan and OSU -- and my Nittany Lions -- are better than everyone not named Georgia in their overrated league.
Keystone Transplant,
I think there are a few things at play here, but I will freely admit that every coach in almost every sport is looking for ways to gain an edge, whether that's knowing the other team's signs or signals or audible calls or whatever.
And almost every high-level football player who has a mic has said this week that it's part of the culture to try to crack the other side's codes and calls.
I get that.
But to knowingly -- and rather openly -- use your funds to break established rules make it more than just sign stealing, right? It's a clear disregard of the rules, and if Michigan is ignoring the rules for sign stealing, what other rules are they blatantly ignoring?
And I have said all along this feels like the first few dominoes of a darker and bigger issue.
Plus, the ripple effects and conspiracy theories are intriguing to me, like this story saying TCU was apparently aware Michigan was a sign stealer, so they used dummy signals in the Frogs' CFP win last year.
Then there is this great chain of events that the college social media sites have suggested.
South Carolina DC Clayton White worked under Coach Khaki at Stanford. There are allegations that Michigan shared some stolen signs of teams they had scouted to help the Wolverines' path to the CFP.
Now recall that previously South Carolina HC Shane Beamer was fined for using improperly released Wake Forest gameplans when he was at Georgia.
So did Michigan share the signs it may have stolen from Tennessee and Clemson -- two teams in the hunt for the CFP last year down the stretch -- with South Carolina, which beat both of those schools and ended their CFP quests.
Add this wrinkle: Some are even reporting that the South Carolina defense wore wristbands for the UT game, and it was the only time they did that all season allegedly.
Hmmmmmmmmmm.
From T.M.
Will the LIV-PGA merger happen, Jay?
T.M.,
I don't think so, which is doubly damaging for soon-to-be-former PGA commissioner Jay Monahan.
I still think the LIV folks are game to merge, because it's the easiest -- and ultimately cheapest -- way to legitimacy in the sports-washing realm. Because the Saudis are writing huge checks with little return right now.
For Pete Dye's sake, did you see that Talor Bleepin' Gooch made more than $33 million in 13 LIV tournaments and bonuses in 2023? Wowser.
I don't think the PGA powers were prepared for the backlash -- from inside and outside the Tour -- a LIV merger brought.
If there's a good thing, it has apparently motivated Tiger Woods to take on a more prominent role in the PGA leadership and direction.
From JoeDon
JG:
Speaking of Bob Newhart, that rekindles a great college drinking game called "Hi Bob!"
Rules were simple: Turn on "The Bob Newhart Show" and everyone in the group gets a mug of cold Co-Cola (better have some spare pitchers, too). While watching the show, each time a TV character says "Bob" everyone in the group takes a sip of Co-Cola. If a character says "Hi Bob" then everyone chugs the remainder of their mug ... and refills.
It's a good thing it was only a 30-minute show.
Assuming, of course, you may have done a few 12-ounce curls in your day, what were some of your favorite college drinking games? Were you a quarter bounce sort of guy on The Plains?
Joe Don,
Such a great question, and I feel obligated to share at least part of the mailbag answer here.
We played a similar game in the Beta House at Auburn, but it was way more liver-crippling.
We called it Loaded Gun.
We'd watch "Top Gun" and every time someone used a call sign -- Maverick, Goose, Ice, et al. -- drink.
If fire was shown -- jet fire, missiles launch, etc. -- and you did not stand, finish your drink.
If a fraternity-elected officer entered and you did not salute -- kid, meet funnel. Funnel, meet kid.
Last time I finished that movie I was in high school and it was in the theater.
Surprising to no one who knows me, I was a rather accomplished quarters bouncer.
Thanks for being a regular, Joe Don.
From JD
Jay, love your podcast with Brian. It's fun, and you guys have great interactions.
How did you two meet and when will the Falcons fire Arthur Smith?
JD,
Thanks, the "Bets and Ballgames" podcast has been fun to do. I met Brian way back at the Marietta Daily Journal in the early, early 2000s.
He's good at what he does.
As for Arthur Smith, well, he has better pieces than the product he is currently putting on the field, and that is the biggest indictment I can place on any coach of any sport.
And man, if they had played Desmond Ridder more last year, we would have known he's not him.
Have a great weekend, friends.